Page 19 of The Death of Kisses

Her body shifted as my weight dipped against the bed.

“Hmm?” She opened her arms inviting me back to her warmth. It would have been the easy choice, the soft sweet touch of her.

“Lillybug, I need a favor.” I whispered. She shifted, grabbing hold of my tangled black hair, finding my head and pulling it to her chest.

“Mmhm anything, let me sleep first.” She mumbled.

My head rested against her chest, listening to her heart rate. The soft thumps as her breath evened out and she fell into a deeper sleep.

I must have stayed there for ages, not sleeping but only listening to her as my mind drifted back to that night.

7 months ago - March 13 - Town of Blackwell - Population 7,438 - 17 yrs old

“Lilly, where the fuck are you?” I groaned into the phone.

“I’m coming I swear! I just took the wrong exit and I’ll be there shortly,” she told me. Lilly was a terrible driver, and I could hear the blinker in the background so I sighed shaking my head.

“Let’s reschedule bug, it’s not like we won’t be able to see this movie at least a dozen times before break ends. Besides, I am pretty tired.” I yawn to emphasize my point and mumbled, “See I wouldn’t be able to make it through the whole thing anyways. Lee’s out of town with dad or something anyways so it’s best I head home early.” I sighed into the phone looking at my watch. It was only ten-thirty, but by the time Lilly showed up it would be one in the morning before we left.

“You sure? I really am on my way, I just got turned around.” She explained.

“Yeah Lilly bug I’m sure. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine.” I smiled into the phone.

“Alright Char, I love you.”

“I love you too, see you tomorrow.”

The line deadened and I pocketed my phone. The movie tickets crumpled in my hand as I walked to the side of the building where I’d parked my bike. Soft rain drops began to fall and I cursed under my breath hurrying down the alleyway.

“Fucking great I have to drive⁠—”

I saw a flash of silver and a hand clamped around my mouth pulling me to their body and I screamed into it. My pulse thudded wildly as they punched my ribcage. I coughed bending over but they held me upright.

“Don’t make this any worse than it has to be,” he commanded. His gloved hand found my buttons on my jeans.

Panic rose in me as my eyes went wide. I couldn’t breathe, as the soft leather of his glove slid between the fabric. Goosebumps peppered my skin as I tried to deny him access.

I threw my head back hoping to land solid. He groaned and punched me in the side as his hand slid into my panties.

Time didn’t stop but I did, it was like someone yanked my batteries out and I was a useless toy. Frozen in fear. His rough gloved hands found purchase on my clitoris and I squeaked.

No one had ever touched me, I was a virgin. My legs felt like dried cement as he forced my pants down. The gloved hand no longer flicked against my clit but moved down between, and I pinched my eyes closed as the burning pain came.

My flesh began to rip like the tearing of clothes, the sound as seams start popping and you just know you’ve ruined your favorite shirt. The shirt was me, I was ripping. Stretched as his gloved fingers shoved into me, the same time my legs decided to turn to jelly.

The concrete slammed into my knees brutally as I caught myself, his fingers ripped out of me, a warmth I was all too familiar with trailed down my legs. Blood.

A belt buckle never sounded so loud, never hurt as much as it did, and did not connect to my body. My arms reached out as I forced my knees to move. To crawl away from this man.

There was a realization that never prepared me for any warning. A coldness that crept through as I breathed. Every rain drop felt like hot stings as my body rewired my brain.

Purity culture had one thing right, you are no longer pure. Disgusting, sick, and gross beyond measure, that’s how I felt. No one was there to stop him. I wept silently as my face connected with the concrete and he jerked my legs apart.

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I watched the rain splash against the concrete. Everything felt on fire the moment his dick penetrated me. A ragged scream tore through my lips as the side of my head scraped against the concrete. He moaned into my ear as if surprised, “You’re a virgin.”

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, just watched the murky puddle build around his Cheshire grin.

White teeth —drip. Well groomed brown hair —drip. Blue eyes —drip.