Page 92 of Knot Broken

“Not running anywhere, except after you,” he told me, crossing his arms. “So don’t hold back on my account.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Tex came to stand between us, blocking my view of Grey. “We talked about this.”

“Did we?” Grey shook his head. “Or were brief explanations shared and then everyone moved on really fucking fast, because this is the thing.” He ducked around Tex to stand before me again. “I couldn’t work out how the hell someone like me could be Nadia’s mate, but now it makes sense. All your childhood, you were silenced by your family.” I froze to the spot, every muscle quivering, the pain easing for now. “Never allowed to ask for what you wanted, what you needed.” He stared at me, unblinking. “Never expressing how you feel.” Crouching down in front of me, our heads were level now. “Growing up the way I did, I’ve heard every shitty thing a person can say to another.” His wry smile had me frowning. “You don’t have to self-censor yourself with me.”

“You… You want me to hurt you?” I asked, feeling something shift, elongate inside me.

“Not on purpose,” he said, his hands sliding through my hair. “Not for fun, but if I’ve fucked up, I want you to know you can tell me exactly how I made you feel.”

“That’s the thing blocking you.”

Ethan dropped to his knees beside me like a man facing down a firing squad, then Tex drew nearer.

“What?”

“We hurt you,” Ethan said.

My eyes were everywhere, flicking from one to the other of them before moving to the next. Every muscle tightened, shaking now with the effort of staying where I was as they all drew closer.

“But no one meant—” Tex started to say.

“How did it feel?” It wasn’t Grey before me now, but that dark figure from my dreams. His head tilted on a strange angle as he stared me down. “Waking up to discover that the only person that stuck with you through your first attempted shift was the man that wasn’t honest about the way he felt about you.”

“Guys, Nadia’s heart and respiration rate are spiking.” Riley’s voice came through the speakers. “If she can’t shift soon, we’re going to need to pause things and try again another day.”

“How did it feel?” Grey said, pushing forward.

A spasm wracked my body, curling my fingers into my palms. Muscles twitched and white fur rippled down my arms.

“How did it feel?” My voice, her voice, fused together now. “The same as it always does. That when the chips are down, I’m always alone. That you’re happy to stick around when things are fun, sexy, easy, but as soon as it gets hard…” My lips peeled back to reveal my fangs. “You’ll run. The only person I can rely on is me.”

“No,” Tex said, his hands lifting to reach for me, then falling by his sides.

“That the only person who can meet my needs is me.”

Ethan nodded slowly, the pain in his eyes almost hurting more than what was happening to me physically.

“That you say I’m your fated mate…” My tongue felt too big for my mouth, but I swallowed hard, then forged on. “But when I really needed you, you weren’t there.” When my voice cracked, something else broke inside me. My heart, I thought initially, as my eyes began to burn with unshed tears, but it was more than that. “I used to read all these alpha and omega romances,” I said with a snort. “The fantasy of a woman mentioning she needs something and three or more men being ready to burn down the world to get it for her was so seductive.”

“And how does it feel to be confronted with the reality?” Grey’s tone softened a little. “That we’re just as flawed⁠—”

“Clueless,” Tex said with a twist of his lips.

“And really shit at communicating,” Ethan added.

“Just like any other man,” Grey said finally.

“It…” My breath was coming in faster and faster now. “I fucking hate it.” It felt like I was teetering on the edge of something, but what was it? “How do I know you won’t pull this shit again? How do I know you’ll be there for me if I really need you?”

“Guys—” Riley’s voice crackled through the speakers.

“Just wait for a sec,” another male voice said.

“What if I end up mated to you for life and…?” Tears rolled down my cheek, burning like acid the entire way. “And its more of the same shit. Being taken for granted, ignored, disregarded.”

“We—” Tex started to say, but Grey held up a hand.

“And how does that make you feel?”