Page 89 of Knot Broken

“You sure you want to do this?” he asked me one last time.

I answered with a quick nod.

“Maybe if I see it…” That restless feeling increased inside me, forcing my voice to trail away, but I squared my shoulders and held my ground. “Then I can work out what the hell I’m doing wrong.”

“Nothing.” Tex came to stand beside me and his steady gaze was like the warm sun on my skin. “Shifting is harder for some than it is for others, but you’ll get there.”

“And I’m going to show you how.”

Ethan stripped off in a series of quick, economical movements, and that was an interesting experience. Every other time it was a prelude to pleasure, so my body was primed to respond that way. A flush of heat washed through me as I took in his broad shoulders, the muscles of his abdomen flexing.

Because that was all mine.

Mine to touch, mine to trace the channels between each ab, following the trail of dark blond hair down. My mate, I thought, feeling something clench deep inside me.

Something the two of them noticed.

Ethan froze, then turned my way, that crooked smile back. An eyebrow rose, right as his thumbs shoved his shorts and underwear down. I took my fill, noting the way a vein wound down his hip, then looked up to meet his gaze.

“Well, if I was worried about making a poor showing naked, I’m not now.” With a grin, he pushed down on the cock that was starting to swell with the heel of his palm. “But that’s not why we’re here.” Suddenly serious, he threw himself down on his hands and knees. Fingers dug into the lino floor as he nodded to himself. “The first thing I do is take a few deep breaths, bring my focus back to the room, to my body. Feel the cold air, hear the whirr of the aircon going.” At his words, I noticed everything he mentioned. “Then I narrow my focus down to my body. Feel the tension in my limbs, the press of the floor into my knees, my palms, but I have to go deeper than that.”

His breath was coming in faster, deeper, filling in the quiet.

“I have…” His voice was deepening, growing more hoarse and at that, his eyes bled from silver to blue. “I have to connect with him.”

For a moment, I thought this was going to be simple. Silvery grey fur appeared, partially obscuring all that golden brown skin. His chest expanded, air being sucked in.

“That’s not easy.”

When his eyes fell closed, when I saw his lips twist in an expression of pain, I dropped down in front of him.

“You don’t have to do this,” I said, even though we’d agreed Ethan would. “I don’t…”

Silver eyes met mine as his mouth fell open. Muscles twitched, but he nodded slowly.

“Yes, I do. He wants to meet you.” When I reached out to touch his face, his cheek was pressed into my palm. “Has since the moment we met, I think, I was just too fucking dumb to see it.”

Whatever discussion we might want to have was cut off by a groan of pain.

It was now I questioned the wisdom of my decision.

“Ethan…” My hands moved everywhere, as if I could stroke this away, but no such luck. “Ethan.”

“It’s OK.” Tex dropped down beside me. “He’s OK.”

How the fuck could he say that? Didn’t he see the way Ethan’s muscles twitched faster and faster, until his whole body was shaking? Then there was the first snapping sound as his torso twisted. A scream rose in my chest, frozen halfway up, ready to choke off all air as he was wrenched back the other way.

“Fuuuck!”

Claws sprang out of fingertips and raked across the floor, digging furrows in the lino as he jerked backwards. Ribs broke, muscles moved and his scream was a wet sound, gurgling in a throat that was transforming. His head was thrown back, his weight on his heels as he howled his pain.

“No…” I shook my head. “No, I take it back. Don’t do this. Ethan…” Arms went around me, comforting me, as a hand brushed away my tears, but I wasn’t the one hurting. Caged in Tex’s embrace, my hand shot out, clawing at the air, trying to get closer to Ethan. “No!”

My shout had my mate’s head snapping down. That beautiful face was transforming before me, right as his hand slapped down on mine.

“You don’t have to.” That came out as more sob than anything. “You don’t have to do this.”

Because I was really fucking wrong. This was not what I wanted, needed, but I was gonna get it anyway.