Page 53 of Life, Love, and Other Messes

That sounds great.

Now, I knew my heart should really be pounding. There was a fifty-fifty chance, really, that she was going to say it shouldn’t have happened. I knew that, but I didn’t worry, just hit save, put on my shoes, and grabbed Ollie’s harness. Although he could barely stop wiggling, I added one of his bandannas for good measure.

Lisa was waiting on her porch for us. Thankfully, she gave me a warm smile and squatted to talk to Ollie. “Now, you are extra handsome in your bandanna this morning. Very rugged, very Wild West.”

We fell in step with one another, Ollie a bit ahead as usual. We were quiet for a long time, leaves crunching under our feet, squinting into the sunshine. Finally, Lisa began. “Are you feeling better?”

I nodded. “Yes. Thank you. I took my meds this morning.”

Lisa grinned a little. “Do they take a while to kick in?”

“Sort of. The writing doesn’t go away until a couple days later.”

“See, I didn’t realize you had trouble.”

“I can do it, just not the same way. Without the meds, I’m hypergraphic, so whatever is probably normal is nothing in comparison.”

She looked puzzled. “What does that mean? I mean I understand the word, but…”

“I can’t stop writing. I have to do it almost all the time or so much gets bottled up in my head it feels like it’s going to explode. I don’t sleep, I don’t eat. I had a notebook at the gym with me yesterday.”

I could tell Lisa was turning that over in her head. “That’s actually incredibly interesting. I can see how that would be a huge asset to a writer, but also how it could really make things difficult.”

“I never really felt like it was difficult,” I admitted. “Trouble is, it’s caused by abnormal brain activity, so…”

“You don’t take medicine to intentionally stop it, do you?”

“No. It’s a bizarre side effect. We’re pretty sure it’s from my mood stabilizer, but this cocktail works, so we don’t mess with it.”

“That’s crazy fascinating.”

I shrugged. “Or just crazy maybe.”

“No, it’s definitely fascinating. So when we’re sitting there together and you’re not doing lesson plans or correcting papers—”

“Oh, I’m writing. Just not the same way. It’s actually…Well…It’s sometimes easier to write with you there.”

Lisa looked up again and our eyes locked. I wasn’t sure if I should have said that, especially when she spoke again. “So I need to apologize for last night.”

Oh shit. I shook my head. “I’m the one who should apologize for last night.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. You were at your most vulnerable and I didn’t mean to take advantage of—”

“You didn’t take advantage of anything. I wish you hadn’t seen me that way but you did and you didn’t run.”

“Oh Jesus, why would I run?”

“Because I’m an out of control mess.”

“We’re all an out of control mess some of the time.”

“Hmm, not quite like me.”

She laughed. “Girl.”

“A lot of people have seen less and run.”

“Well, they’re stupid fucks.”