Page 24 of A Coffee Away

“Sure.” I couldn’t say no. I was an addict through and through.

We sat on the sofa.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Esteban asked.

“I’m sure.”

I sipped my coffee, but there was something off with Esteban. He was tense. Even the air around us was thick.

I took a deep breath. “Are you mad about what I said? Or about me going to the back room with Andres?”

Esteban held his mug, blew on it, then took a sip. “I’m not mad. I get you. I…like you too. It’s just…” He huffed.

My body vibrated at his confession. He liked me! He wanted me! I couldn’t control myself as I covered his thigh with my hand.

His muscles jumped beneath my touch, but this time he didn’t jerk away from me.

“Tell me.” I leaned forward, trying to catch his gaze.

“It’s complicated.” He angled his face away from me. “You were right. You should be free to have fun and be with whoever you want.”

I frowned. “Why is it complicated? If we like each other, shouldn’t that be enough?” I wanted him to hold me. To kiss me. I longed to discover it all, to explore everything with him.

“You wouldn’t understand.” He squeezed my hand. “Forget about this. Live your own experience. It’s natural to want to explore. Andres is a good guy.”

“But…” No. I wanted him to open up. I needed to know what was going through his head. How he felt about me.

Esteban let out a hard exhale. “Please…” He shook his head. “Let it go.”

The silence grew between us, and after a few uncomfortable minutes, Esteban stood and took my empty cup. “I’ll hit the bathroom first so you can shower and go to bed after.”

“Okay.” My voice was but a whisper.

I couldn’t move as he entered the bedroom and turned on the shower. The silence that fell around me made his words so final. Nothing made sense. Why couldn’t we be together? Why did he ask me to let it go?

This was all wrong. His playful attitude was long gone.

When he came out of the bedroom, I rose. “Esteban?”

He stopped on his way to the kitchen.

I brushed his arm. “Are we okay?”

He nodded, but he wouldn’t look at me. “I’m sorry for the way I acted. Sorry for making things weird between us. I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t know what came over me.”

I pulled my hand away. “But you didn’t say anything wrong.” What was so wrong about liking me?

He scoffed. “Of course I did. It wasn’t my place, and you have the freedom to have fun with whoever you want.” He walked to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, and went to the sofa. “I’m glad you had a good time. You can go out whenever you feel like it, and I won’t impose. I promise.”

I waited for something more, but it never came. Not a word. Not a “good night.” Just his breathing as he turned off the lights and settled in.

How the fuck would we fix this?

Chapter 6: It Matters

Robbie

Weeks passed, and we settled into a routine. We only spoke once more about that night but never again. It hurt, but we had a good relationship. As friends.