Page 33 of Lifeline

“Fuck it,” I said, the ol’ reliable phrasing, and I shifted down the couch to take hold of the back of his head and draw him close.

It was the moment of truth; he could deny me or be a willing participant. My heart thumped and sank when I felt resistance, and I drew back quickly, wounded even though I'd known it was a possibility. I’d barely made it half an inch before Mika pushed forward and our mouths clashed with a click of teeth. I hissed as the sensation rattled through my mouth, but I renewed my grip on him as I pulled him into the kiss again.

I heard him suck in a breath as our lips parted, tongues sliding across one another. I was reminded of the first time we’d kissed with intensity rather than the shy and respectful kiss of a first time. Mika had been mild-mannered and respectful, who became a different person when the switch in his head was flipped. For a man who could be soft-spoken and appear gentle, he was an entirely different beast when sex was on his mind.

Not to be outdone, I pushed into the kiss to return the dominance as he nearly sent me falling onto my back. He grunted in affirmation, and I remembered the first time I had ever pushed back, showed some force, and how hard he had felt through his pants at the time as he’d pressed against me. It was no different as he pushed into the kiss, not battling for supremacy, but showing he wasn’t afraid to use force of personality.

I let go of his head as I pushed him back against the couch, straddling his thighs and shoving my hands up his shirt. Something roared to life inside me as I felt the hardness of his stomach, the warmth of his body. My fingers dragged down the skin, not enough to cause pain but enough to tease and taunt, to make him feel my fingers and know what I wanted. He broke the kiss just long enough for me to grip the bottom of his shirt and yank it off with about as much grace as a drunken ogre.

I tossed it aside and gave a soft yelp as I found myself flipped. He was on me once more, between my legs so he could rut against me as he kissed me again. I hadn’t forgotten what it felt like to be ravished, but goddamn, I had forgotten what it was like for Mika to do it. In the first few weeks of our relationship, before the sense of ‘new and shiny’ had worn off enough for my issues to make themselves known, that was what it was like. Afterward, even in the few times I could push through my problems, it had lost some of that passion, that heat and need that made him claw at my pants to get them undone.

But they were undone and tossed onto the floor with his shirt as he made quick work of getting my shirt off. I didn’t hesitate to yank him back down to kiss him again, careful to mind our teeth. He groaned softly, shoving his groin against my ass as his bare torso slid along mine. The warmth of his skin was intoxicating, enough to distract me for a moment as our tongues met again.

Not enough to distract me from the hardness pressing against my ass; however, even more apparent without jeans to soften the sensation. I had to slap his ass to make him hold still so I could undo the button and zipper before reaching into his underwear to grip his cock. When I found it, his teeth nipped at my bottom lip and I chuckled, wrapping my fingers around him and pulling him free of the painful confines of his pants.

It was…what I remembered, with no deviation from memory. It was the kind of dick I affectionately referred to as the ‘premium package boyfriend dick.’ Just big enough to get compliments, but not so big you couldn’t reliably take it. Not that I had ever reliably taken him, but as he broke the kiss to breathe against my neck as I stroked him, I pushed the thought away with ease. And yet, I felt the weight of it as it left, knowing that when I first knew him, that thought, among dozens of others would have lingered and built to a point where I wouldn’t be able to ignore it and boom, the brakes would have been slammed on.

Except the brake went untouched as I regretted what I would need to give him proof was…all the way down the hallway, in my room. I didn’t dare break the moment to go get it though, so we’d have to stick to everything short of him fucking me.

His mouth was on my neck, and I could feel him sliding down, and a sensation that was a cousin to panic roared to life inside me. I didn’t know if it was because I was afraid my body would betray me in a way it hadn’t done in a few years, because it was Mika, or because I didn’t feel it was ‘sufficient’ for him to go down on me. What I knew, though, was that as much as I had always loved the sight of his mouth wrapped around my cock, what I wanted most was to feel him in my throat.

“Heh,” I said, and his head snapped up to look at me suspiciously. “I just remembered something.”

“What?” he asked warily, caution creeping through the haze of lust in his eyes.

Raising a brow, I pushed him onto his back, missing the arm of the couch with his head. He looked up at me, the lust still hanging on tight as his caution carefully shifted toward curiosity. I took hold of his pants and yanked them down, sparing a thought to remember that we weren’t technically alone, but then again…most of the guys here slept through the night so while there was a chance of being caught, the chances were low.

“There’s something you don’t know,” I said in a light singsong as I pulled his underwear down, flipping my gaze from the sight of his thick cock lying lazily against his stomach to his curious expression.

“What?” he wondered, and I didn’t know if I should laugh or feel wary myself at the caution that didn’t want to leave his face. I had no one to blame but myself for its existence, though. The problem was, guilt wasn’t any more conducive to a sexy mood than hurt and anger, so I shoved the thought away to deal with the feelings another time.

“Some things change, remember?” I said as I bent sprawled out, half off the couch so I would have the right angle to be level with his cock.

“I do,” he said, and it seemed to be his turn to be unsure if he should be aggravated or not, and I would swear he was close to smiling.

I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to do it until I pushed his cock into my mouth, sliding my tongue on the underside, tasting him and feeling the pulse of his heartbeat. His breath was sucked in gently, and his hands…hesitated, and then settled onto my shoulders as I bobbed up and down on his cock, teasing the head with my tongue and watching his expression carefully. He was enjoying himself, but I could see I had planted the seed in his mind that would make him wait to see what I was hyping up so much.

Making sure our eyes were locked, I finally pushed down, feeling his cock hit the back of my throat. I worked my muscles, the thick head plunged down into my throat and I slid down until the neatly trimmed hairs of his groin brushed against my nose.

A shudder ran through him as his eyes went wide while I held myself in place, forcing my muscles to calm down and stop freaking out. It had been a little while since I’d done it, and the guy before Mika hadn’t been as big, but I would be damned before I let my body’s dramatic habits get in the way of successfully showing the trick I hadn’t come close to learning, let alone mastering, when he had last known me.

Sliding back, I pushed forward again, fucking my throat on his dick as a strangled noise rose from his chest. His breathing caught every time I bottomed out on his dick, his eyes still wide as he watched me work him over from head to base. My cock rubbed against the couch, sending irregular jolts of pleasure through me as I felt him somehow grow harder in my mouth.

“Aid-Aidan,” he ground out in a low voice, clearly as aware of our situation as I was.

I didn’t stop, though, not that I thought that was his intention. One of his hands was on the back of my head, and his grip tightened to the point of pain, but I never stopped as his hips twitched up into my mouth every time I bottomed out. His back was slowly arching, and with a gasp, he shoved his hand against his mouth and gave a muffled groan. His cock twitched, the first spray hitting the back of my throat before I buried him in it again and felt every spurt down my throat. His hand tightened on my head, the other clawing at the couch as I held onto him.

When the pulses finally stopped, I carefully pulled off, and even that was enough sensation to make him wince as the oversensitive skin slid along my tongue. With a groan of anticipation, I leaned back, flopping against the other arm of the couch as I gripped my dick and stroked, knowing it wasn’t going to take long.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Mika leaned forward, and I winced. He stopped and cocked his head. “Still?”

He was referring to the other difficulty I had, which was…well, getting off if someone else was the one doing it for me. “Sorta, but⁠—”

It wasn’t as much of a problem as it once was, not even close, but I was already so riled up with my thoughts spinning that I didn’t know if I wanted to risk it. You could will your body into not freaking out with its gag reflex, but sheer will couldn’t make you calm down enough to get off. Trust me, I had tried several times, and that only made it worse.

“Fair enough,” he said, and then his mouth was on my balls, his tongue sliding to my thighs, and my body practically exploded with the sensations.

“Oh, fuck,” I breathed out, my body going rigid. “Gonna⁠—”