Page 61 of Dragon Her Heels

Excellent. “We’ll get the assistant starter assignments fairly early so they can meet with the horses, learn their temperaments, and so on. Alligator Bait is a dream in the gate, so it doesn’t matter who my assistant starter is,” I replied, allowing myself a smile. “If Yuless needs a place to crash, it seems I’m renting some rooms in my house, but he’ll have to share territory with a woman, two dragons, and an incubus.”

Darlene giggled. “Lucy, handle Yuless. I will handle Crystal.”

“I must insist: if you handle her breasts, you must invite me to watch.”

A moment later, the Devil yipped and something crashed to the floor. “If you don’t convince him to move in with her, you won’t be handling breasts or staring at them ever again, because I’ll cut your hands off and gouge your eyes out!” After a few moments, the succubus muttered some curses. “I’m sorry about him, Crystal. He can’t help his nature, and while he doesn’t actually act on those impulses, he feels he has to keep me on my toes. This involves provoking me in the hopes I’ll show him my breasts.”

Considering what I knew of the Devil, he did it to rile his wife up, and I would be stuck dealing with their posturing for longer than I cared to think about. “Dare I ask what you threw at him?”

“A printer, and one of the large ones made more of metal than plastic. I’m going to need a new printer, but some prices are worth paying.” She giggled. “And since he is who he is, he just walked it off, and he was polite enough to pick up the printer and take it with him. Honestly, he’s doing that because if he doesn’t, I’ll pick it up and throw it at him again. He learns quickly.”

Most would view the various assaults as negatives in a relationship, but in reality, I suspected Lucifer loved it and wasn’t shy about informing the universe his wife’s displays of temper turned him on. “Thank you for not seducing him with the printer while I’m on the phone with you.”

“You’re welcome. He knows I’m violently informing him I love him. Anyway, now that he’s off handling that, let’s talk about your horses and barn. I’m confident you’ll be keeping Zenzi. She loves her new house, and as long as you don’t mind a handsome gentlehorse coming over to pay her visits when she’s in season, and she can raise her little ones among the regular horses, she’ll help the other moms teach their foals how to behave.”

“That’ll be appreciated. Make sure Lucifer gives my horses larger stalls. Their bedrooms must be spacious, and they need access to the runs behind the barn. Just make certain I have a few smaller stalls for animals that need to be on stall rest because of injury. Speak to a vet regarding the minimum and maximum sizes for stall rest. I don’t mind moving them if they need to recover from an injury, but if I need to lock them in a stall, I want them to have adequate space. The new barn needs to be able to withstand hurricanes.”

“Try not to worry, Crystal. I’ll make sure that lout replaces your barn properly. So. About Yuless.”

“What about him?”

“Do you like him?”

I snorted at the succubus’s tone, which indicated she wanted to know if I wanted to take him to bed with me. “Were I the type to take men on a test drive, he’d be a strong candidate. He’s definitely easy on the eyes. But I already told you: if he wants to be taken on a test drive or a date, he needs to bake me a pie so good I beg him to marry me.”

“Isaac makes damned good pies, and you haven’t begged him to marry you,” she complained.

“Isaac is the kind that will do well with the two dragons and my next door neighbor. I’m not getting in the way of him partaking of three other people. I would insist on full and sole rights to his person, and neither one of us would be happy. Sure, the sex would be fantastic and I would never be disappointed, but I’d be upset whenever we weren’t in bed. It wouldn’t work.”

“I wish I could argue, but I can’t.” Darlene heaved a sigh. “So, if he learns how to bake pie, Yuless is under consideration?”

“Isaac told me he’s a decent prospect, longevity won’t be an issue for both of us, so I’m considering him as a potential option. I already said he’s easy on the eyes. If he comes over with a pie he made himself, frankly, as long as it’s not awful, I’ll ask him on a date. I value effort.”

The succubus breathed a relieved sigh. “Okay, good. Decent pie will get the door open?”

“Decent pie would definitely offer him opportunities to get a closer look at my personal life. However, I’m going to have to go shopping if he wants a closer look at my personal apparel. I do not have date appropriate clothes. I have work appropriate clothes, and I refused to be a victim of assholes in the office place, so nothing I own involves lace.”

Judging from the horrified gasp on the other end of the phone, I’d traumatized the succubus. “No! Say it isn’t so.”

“I’m a virgin with practical underwear,” I replied in a solemn tone.

I gave the woman credit: she could scream with the best of them.

A pop announced the arrival of someone, whom I assumed was Lucifer. “What happened?”

“She owns granny panties!” A thump indicated the succubus had fallen to the floor in some fashion, and she wailed as though somebody ripped her heart out of her chest and fed it to her.

“Seriously?” the Devil asked in a rather exasperated voice. “I thought something was actually wrong.”

“How is she going to seduce Yuless if all she owns is granny panties?”

“Waggling a finger and issuing a come hither comes to mind,” he replied. “While I am rather supportive of ladies wearing pretty panties, this is not an emergency nor a disaster. Yuless is on the other side of our house right now and is not in a position to be investigating Crystal’s panty selection. Would taking Crystal out shopping for new panties help?”

The succubus made a soft sound, and I assumed she nodded.

“Okay. Why don’t I talk to Crystal and you handle talking with Yuless? If you need to start him on baking lessons, give Isaac a call, and remember that his current charge is fragile and he can’t leave her unless the dragons are around or she can stay with Crystal. If Isaac isn’t available, borrow one of the fucking assholes and take baking lessons, then you can seduce me with pie you make. After we handle the things we need to get done around here, you can plan a date with Crystal to buy her some lingerie.”

That worried me. Darlene left, and she thumped into several objects on her way out the door. “Lucifer?”