Page 47 of Dragon Her Heels

“He isn’t picky about the age of his cattle. But why older cattle?”

“I plan on running a retirement home for older cattle, and once they’re at the end of their natural lifespan, the dragon can make use of the meat. I’m all for efficiency, but I don’t like killing animals while young.”

“Well, you are a hedge witch, and the natural order of things does appeal to you. He can take care of his own meals, so you do not have to use your property to supply him with livestock. He’s not a completely useless dragon.” Darlene shot a glare over at Ashley’s place, where she surely worked to feed her trio of gentlemen. “I almost accused you of being a succubus, but Lucy reminded me you’re a goody-goody, and if you can make a neighbor happy, you will. And Isaac? He’s an incubus, and he is more than happy to engage in group activities. Lucifer was expecting you to just give her some company, not flip her life on her overnight.”

“Darlene, Isaac is an incubus. If she’s going to rebound, give her the best damned rebound of her life. It’s been a while since her husband died.”

“It has been, but she’s not the quitting kind. Things just got to be more than she can handle alone. It’s amazing how something as little as an invitation to go to a feed store can change a life. Her possibilities had been few and far between until the moment you showed up at her door with your car. You opened many new doors and many new possibilities for her. And when you threw Isaac her way, even more doors opened. After Isaac tucked her into bed last night, he paid a few friends a visit, cleaned her place, and she woke up in a completely different world this morning. She got up planning to try to clean something to start fixing everything, stepped out of her bedroom, and saw a whole new life. Isaac, rather wisely, moved everything around. She can’t see her husband’s touch on anything anymore. The only thing Isaac left of her husband was his ashes, although he moved them to be on the top shelf of a bookcase rather than right in front of her all the time. You put many wheels into motion. For the first time since he died, she’s truly smiling again. You created that possibility.”

“Lucifer said she needed help, so I helped.”

“You have no idea how rare that is,” Darlene told me, and she offered me a sad smile. “The world isn’t good and evil. It’s shades of gray. A quarter of people are good. A quarter of people are evil. Everyone is something in between, neutral with good or evil tendencies without truly being good nor evil. I liked to think most people are good, but that’s just not the case. But that also helps in a way. Half of all people? They aren’t suitable for the heavens or for any one of my husband’s hells.”

The dragon made a low, rumbly coo, and he tilted his head to the side.

“Oh, she’s coming straight to hell to have lessons in the dungeon on how to straighten out the fucking assholes. Mind your own business, buddy, or you’ll be the one she learns on!”

The dragon squawked, took flight, and zipped away, heading in the direction of my barn, likely to hide behind the Devil.

Smart choice, really.

“Coward,” Darlene muttered.

I closed and locked the gate once through, laughing at the insanity of it all. “The irony of this whole mess is that I was living like the castle wasn’t real, there wouldn’t be a dragon, and I just had to deal with your husband for a good paycheck. Then I went and made the castle real and did the dragon’s work for him.”

“If anything, he’ll be even slower coming to live here permanently,” the succubus replied, and she patted my shoulder. “It’s clear that you’re handling the situation well, he knows you will be handling the modern matters on his behalf, and he has time to handle what he needs before establishing his residence here. It’ll be at least eight months before the castle can be legally occupied. Lucifer is going to have to deal with a great many pieces of red tape over its placement. He’s going to lose three whole months to the post office figuring out where to put his mailbox.”

“Next to mine?” I pointed at the box that was installed at the gate. “It can literally go right next to mine, just give him another number.”

“That’s the problem. Your house is 1 Fox Hunt Drive, and they can’t address the castle as 0 Fox Hunt Drive.”

I rolled my eyes. “Just turn mine to 1B and his to 1A. Problem solved. Or leave my box 1 and add 1A and 1B, and I can have a business address and a private one. There are easy solutions to this problem. Or put an access path on my property, call it Castle Drive, and have the mailbox set to 1 Castle Drive.”

“We’re in Florida, and we’re dealing with the government. There is no such thing as an easy solution. However, I will make the recommendation, and after they waste three months, I’ll show them my claws and suggest they do what I say. That sometimes works.”

“That it doesn’t always work concerns me.”

“Well, it is the government.” Darlene shrugged. “1 Castle Drive sounds more impressive than 1A Fox Hunt Drive, so after they waste three months arguing over it, I will suggest the access road and the mailbox at the start of the access road. That might keep everyone happy, especially if you’re all right with there being an access road there.”

“There is a ten foot stretch of land that isn’t fenced along there, and if the box is at the end of the way, we really only need the width of a single car and a turnaround at the lake. It’s doable. I’ll have to safeguard the denizens, but that’s fine. That’s the kind of sacrifice I’m willing to make. It’ll also simplify deliveries when we’re trying to make that castle habitable.” It would cost a little money, but I could hire a construction crew to put in a stretch of asphalt large enough to fit a delivery truck along. A transport would have to back out, but that wouldn’t be my problem. “I’ll get the permits and hire to have it done.”

“I will make sure that cowardly dragon pays for everything, including the use of your land for his access road.” Darlene made a thoughtful sound. “I will make him buy the land next to your lot and give you the ability to use it. That will suffice.”

I narrowed my eyes. “There is land next to my lot for sale?”

She pointed at the far side of the property. “The house is on another street, and the owner has decided he cannot tolerate the thought of living anywhere near a dragon.”

Outside of devouring three entire cities, the dragon hadn’t done anything to us—well, thus far. Time would reveal his nature, and I foresaw a great deal of mayhem in my future.

Could I actually keep a dragon from menacing everyone?

We’d find out soon enough.

I shrugged. “His loss.”

“Precisely, especially when the dragon buys the property. He won’t miss the money. He’s filthy rich, as most dragons are. He’ll pitch a fit about spending from his hoard, but he’ll get over it. If he hadn’t slacked on the castle, he wouldn’t be needing to buy more land.” The succubus lifted her chin and sniffed. “I will teach him his manners. You do not have the time to handle your work and teach him his manners.”

I questioned what sort of manners the dragon lacked, how Darlene would handle teaching his manners, and if she might require help with the task. “If that makes you happy, by all means, teach him his manners. Good manners include baking skills, and I will even provide the eggs and fruit required for his education.”