Page 5 of Client from Hell

Oy.

“Yes. The cancer has spread to your occipital lobe, so it’s no surprise that you have been suffering from vision impairment. In good news, the first treatments have been deemed successful. Unfortunately, the damage from the cancer is extensive enough we’re not sure what your odds of a full recovery will be. In addition to this, the specialists are concerned your chance of recurrence is fairly high. The initial tests are showing significant shrinkage of the cancer in all known locations, which is good news for you. And while resistant to the common drugs and magic, mixing them has done better than we projected possible. That means you have some important decisions to make. We don’t think the magical treatments will start working at this stage, but there are some options.”

“Lycanthropy?” I asked, as someone from the CDC had proposed it as a potential option if the chemotherapy worked enough to buy me one to three years. There was no point in infecting me with the virus if the virus wouldn’t have time to take root so it could destroy the cancer.

The CDC representative I’d spoken to hadn’t believed I’d survive any attempts to induce early onset lycanthropy. While early onset could happen during cases of injury bordering death, the known successful cases had been in good health prior to the experimentations. The sole cancer patient tested had been thought to have several years of life left in him before he became terminal.

I had months.

Marie sighed. “Yes. Like the rest of your treatments, it’s risky, but you might now be a candidate for an early onset lycanthropy treatment. Since your immune system is so compromised, you would be guaranteed infection, and the infection should replicate without requiring any drastic measures. The question is if the lycanthropy virus will attack the cancer before the cancer is able to replicate or if the virus works to restore organ function. Frankly spoken, we don’t know. Even with the lycanthropy infection, you would need to undergo future treatments. We do not know how chemotherapy and other treatments will impair the lycanthropy virus’s development. Your other option is to attempt a chain of similar treatments and hope the cancer is completely killed. If that is the case, you can potentially opt to pay for angelic intervention, but the cost is quite high if an angel agrees to give you the treatment. You have a great deal of damage that would need to be healed. Your age and financial situation might give you some opportunities. But angels can be odd about their offers when it comes to miracles. Once the paperwork is cleansed, I can bring your options to you.”

“I appreciate that, doc. How bad is the organ damage?”

The organ damage would determine how long I lived—assuming the cancer didn’t get me first. Or the drugs meant to kill the cancer didn’t get me first. Or some pesky virus the hospital worked hard to keep out of my plastic-shrouded room got me first.

I put my bets on some random, pesky virus, including the common cold, sneaking into the room and having its way with me.

Once again, Marie sighed. “During your last scan, we found damage in several places in your brain, your lungs are severely compromised, there is damage to your heart, and you may need to be put on dialysis until an organ donor can be found. And that’s assuming we can get you through the transplant operation. We’ll need to do more tests.”

I expected the rest of my life, however long or short, would involve more tests. “Is lycanthropy my best chance of beating the odds?”

“At current, yes, unless it is determined you’re a candidate for angelic intervention. Most angels view cancer as a mortal consequence and typically do not work with adults. It happens from time to time, but usually because a divine has an interest in the adult. You’re simply too old for their typical interventions. Lycanthropy has proven effective for some cancer cases that are resistant to magic or other treatments.”

“What strain of lycanthropy?”

“That’s an issue. We have a donor of a lycanthropy strain, but one of the conditions of the strain is a lack of disclosure of the species. This hospital does not typically treat or deal with lycanthropes, so we have no donors, and the CDC won’t provide a strain for experimental treatments they haven’t approved or recommended. Your case would take longer than you have to work through the courts to get approval. A wolf strain could potentially be found if you do the work to find a donor yourself. According to our scanners, the strain we have been offered is strong, the volume may be sufficient to induce early onset, and we have an offer of angelic verification to confirm you would not be mated to the donor. It will be far simpler for the paperwork if we can get approval from the CDC for the experimental treatment if we have all the pieces in place. The strain would be donated at no cost to you.”

Becoming mated to a potential donor was a lecture the CDC had shoved down my throat when I had first been diagnosed but before the doctors had come to the conclusion I wouldn’t likely survive long enough for an infection to do me any good.

Some chance was better than no chance, and being mated to some random lycanthrope but surviving seemed like a small trade-off to me. To have the opportunity without the man appealed, as men tended to get in the way of things like acquiring law degrees and pursuing difficult, time-intensive careers. “And my schooling should I be infected?”

“There are no rules barring lycanthropes from practicing law, and we have confirmed with your school there would be no issues with you continuing your education should you survive the treatment.”

“What are my chances at this point?”

“That’s what we don’t know. No one has ever attempted to use the lycanthropy virus on someone without an immune system. At this stage, your immune system is completely dead; we may need to bring in a specialist to revive it. This gives us an opportunity to test if the lycanthropy virus can correct immune-deficiency disorders. This is where the good news for you comes in.”

“Wait, there’s good news?”

“Yes. Because there are so few patients with your specific cancer type in your stage, you’ll be compensated for all test treatments. Part of the compensation will be clearing out most of your medical debt. Everything you’ve accrued during this hospital treatment will be paid for in a mix of donations, CDC compensation, and the hospital waiving payments for testing treatments.”

While I would be left with significant medical debt due to the diagnosis process, not having to pay for the critical final treatments would put me in a good place—and leave less of a mess for my family, who couldn’t afford to pay my cancer bills even if they wanted to. Necessity had dictated I notify my parents about my cancer, but I’d skimmed the details, including the low probability of my general survival.

My cancer worried them, but because I hadn’t told them the complete truth, if I had died during the treatments, they would have believed I’d been one of the unlucky ones rather than fast-tracked for the grave. If I survived, I’d confess my sins and beg for forgiveness.

If I didn’t, I would die knowing I’d minimized their suffering rather than making them believe they guarded me from death’s door, not that there was anything they could do to spare me from my fate.

I’d even convinced the doctors to play along for their peace of mind, downplaying the severity of my situation.

Maybe I should have told them about the potential for willfully contracting the lycanthropy virus. Then again, I could use the infection as an excellent distraction. In their book, lycanthropy beat death from cancer any day of the week. “I am willing to sign off on being a guinea pig. This cancer sucks, and if it helps someone else recover better and faster, if I do die, I’ll at least have gone out with a bang—of the good kind, that is.”

“That leaves the matter of the lycanthropy virus.” Marie went to the door with the clipboard for the doctors to reference, pulled it out of its holder, and brought it over along with a pen. “If you don’t want an unknown strain, we can attempt to find a donor for you.”

“Sign me up for some mystery. If I live, I’ll get a surprise down the road. Generally, I enjoy surprises, especially if I’m alive to enjoy them. Is there really a bad strain of lycanthropy?”

“Not particularly, but you won’t be a wolf. I am allowed to disclose that much.”

“I’d guessed it wouldn’t be a wolf strain,” I replied, as I’d been essentially bludgeoned with the warning they didn’t have a wolf donor. “I’d like verification I won’t become a spider, though. I do not like spiders, and I’d probably try to swat myself with a rolled-up newspaper were I to become a spider. It’d just be bad, doc.”