Page 64 of Catnapped

Warmth spread from Lucifer’s hand into me, and when I snorted, holy fire blossomed from my nostrils, and what I could see of my forelock paled to a shimmering white. “This is one of her forms. Rather like a daydream, isn’t she? A pure, pristine being. Yes, that’s holy fire. Yes, He granted His blessing on her, for all she’s one of mine. Her nightmare form is pitch black, and she wields hellfire instead, and a rather nasty version of it, truth be told. As the conflicting energies are part of what triggered her little rampage, I’ll forgo the demonstration of her hellfire. She has a balanced form, which is a lovely gray, and she has access to both hellfire and holy fire while in it. As such, she could act where we, who are skewed to one extreme or another, could not. It’s not yet time, and the consequences would have been dire.”

“Why?” my boss demanded.

It amazed me that Mr. Thernin dared to question Lucifer in such a tone. Our previous business meetings had been far more cordial.

Flattening my ears, I eyed my boss—no, my former boss—and debated how to deal with him before the Devil took offense and did something I would regret.

Lucifer clucked his tongue and pulled my head to his chest, stroking his hand along my brow to my nose. “Easy does it, my little candy cane. You need to cool your temper. I know, I know, you ran out of mean doggies to correct. You can have a turn with them in the dungeons when you’re ready to play nice with others. I brought the CDC here so your animals could get proper care. Wasn’t I generous?”

Generous? Lucifer? When the Devil did favors, he expected paybacks later. “Maybe.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my neck to keep me in place. “Diana’s nature makes her very protective of the helpless. After her adaptation period, you’ll see her in a similar role, working for me rather than the CDC. You will find negotiations will continue as smoothly as always—perhaps better, as my little candy cane truly abhors inefficiency. Do mind your step when you’re in the lab. Holy fire and hellfire make quite the mess of wayward mortals who play with powers they shouldn’t. If they hadn’t stolen her cat—and planned to perform tests on her, who had been exposed to her cat post testing—she wouldn’t have had a reason to go stomping through their operations, now would she?”

“Becoming the subject of human experimentation does tend to offer a certain amount of leniency when it comes to self-defense,” Mr. Thernin agreed, and he heaved a sigh. “And you are certain about her lycanthropy infection status prior to this conversion? And that it was a result of this group that intended to experiment on her?”

“You can have the word of an archangel about that truth,” Lucifer stated. “Some things we cannot meddle with, but know this much: we step away from the End of Days because of what did not leave this lab. This is not their only lab. It was just the most dangerous of their labs currently in operation. For now. But know this. My many hells and the heavens will rise up against what these humans attempt to create. Consider yourselves warned. If the CDC is wise, it will handle this matter before we must prove how our alliance on the mortal coil works. And make no mistake: we have forged an alliance as we oppose an unscheduled End of Days. The time is not now, and we wish to keep it that way. We really don’t care about eliminating wayward humans who try to make the end come.”

“Next you’ll tell me that the Christ is coming again.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Soon,” he promised. “Sooner than you would like, I imagine.”

“Well, as a mortal, I also tend to oppose the End of Days, and you know what the Bible says about that.”

“Haven’t you figured out you’ve gotten that wrong yet? Diana, say it. I simply cannot bear to.”

I took a moment to consider what he meant, and then I sighed, as Darlene loved yanking her husband’s chain whenever possible. “Well, Jesus Christ on a cracker,” I dutifully announced, and I even packed my tone with the proper disgust over the situation.

“Do I want to ask?”

“It’s best you don’t,” I replied, questioning every choice I’d ever made in my life leading up to the moment I’d left myself up a shit creek without a paddle or a boat. “It’s just best you don’t.”

Sixteen

“I may have gotten slightly cranky.”

The Devil, asshole that he was, refused to tell me how to transform back into a human. Biting him appeased me a little, but he refused to spill his secrets. While the CDC worked at rescuing the animals, I stalked Lucifer through the charred husks of the trailers, snorting a mixture of holy fire and hellfire at him.

He dodged, which annoyed me into trying harder to bite him. When the CDC began the tedious process of bringing the animals up from the lab, wearing contamination containment suits to mitigate the risk of any contagions spreading, I abandoned my hunt to observe them, my ears twisted back.

Each cat and dog got a carrier by themselves, except for the kittens, which were grouped in small clusters. One such pair of orange kittens, which a lycanthrope without a containment suit carried by hand, caught my attention. I approached, sniffing at the small, still bodies.

“We’re not sure if these ones will make it,” the lycanthrope admitted, and he sighed. “It’s warmer for them in my hand, and we aren’t sure they’ll make it for the drive.”

Lucifer patted my shoulder. “Holy fire is useful for this, and I encourage you to abuse your holy fire privileges as often as you’d like. Once He gives such gifts, it’s difficult to take back. You’ve experimented plenty with the more dangerous side of holy fire, so why don’t you learn the gentler properties?” The Devil crouched for a closer look at the kittens, and he checked their ears before staring into their eyes with a thoughtful expression. “Malnourished and neglected for certain. They’re developmentally stunted. They’re infected with lycanthropy for certain, which is why they’re alive at all. I’d bet on a starvation test to see how the virus would work to preserve the host.”

I resented I couldn’t kill the asshole lab operators again. “How do I use the holy fire to help them? I can help them, right?”

“You can. Focus on your intent. You want to protect, safeguard, and heal the kittens. Consider holy fire to be somewhat sentient. The gentler the soul using it, the more potent it is. You’re a disgustingly gentle soul unless provoked, which is why you’ll do well with both holy fire and hellfire. When you’re provoked, it’s for a cause, and that strengthens hellfire more than most would think. What’s your name, boy?”

“Kris,” the lycanthrope replied. “The boss told me to bring the kittens your way, sir.”

“It’s not every day divine intervention can be had for a pittance,” Lucifer replied with a chuckle. “That, plus the boss knows how unreasonable Diana can get about cats and kittens. Her cat completed her transformation into a crazy cat lady.”

Mr. Flooferson truly had. I stretched out my nose and nudged the tiny bodies, exhaling enough a small trail of holy fire escaped my nose. It coiled around both of the kittens and settled into the scruffy fur.

Lucifer scratched my brow. “Normally, you’d wait, but I’ll have a small chat with Him about these two. Even with holy fire, they’ll remain stunted and be in poor health. What’s two more little demonic beasties running around my house?” With enough care for me to believe the kittens were in poorer health than I’d believed, the Devil cradled both animals in his hand. “I will return shortly, so try not to wander too far. Go breathe holy fire on some cats if you need to feel useful. You could use the practice, and really, it’s fun encouraging you to abuse a higher power. Best of all, He can’t even get mad at you for doing it. Have fun!”

Once certain the Devil was gone, I bowed my head and sighed. “Are there any other sick kittens or puppies?”