Page 63 of Catnapped

Unlike the first room, men worked, and they studied the bodies of numerous animals on the metal examination tables.

Understanding struck me hard.

He had not only put the animals that couldn’t be saved out of their misery and reclaimed their seeds, He had created a distraction, one that brought the researchers into the lab so I could systematically judge them and send them to the afterlife.

The enormity of His scheming, and the sheer ruthlessness of His choice, would haunt me for a while. It would also make me far more respectful of His power.

When He moved, it was with a still and quiet hand—and He lacked any hesitation when it came to securing justice for the smallest of creatures.

It reminded me of a hymn from church, one that I had learned before I’d come to the realization the church had gotten so much of His truths wrong: All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all.

And He loved all of his creations, as did the Devil.

The church would have a problem with that if they learned that truth.

The men, wearing the protective equipment I expected from those working with a highly contagious disease, gaped at me. I took the moment to regard the fallen animals, a mixture of cats, dogs, and even birds, grateful He had compassion for them in their final breaths.

The black hellfire winked out, and I stomped my hoof. Another rippling pulse of holy fire spread across the floor, attaching to a few of the cages. The rest were empty or their occupants had gone on to find shelter and comfort in His embrace.

The nearest lycanthrope, one of the male wolves according to his reek, gaped at me. If He had wanted some benevolent spirit handling the matter, He would have sent an angel—or something or someone other than me. While I had hooves for stomping and crushing, I rather enjoyed billowing a mixture of blue and black flame into his face, tearing through the protective gear surrounding his head. The holy fire winked out upon touching the lycanthrope, as though refusing to be tainted by coming into contact with him. The hellfire clung, as though I’d sneezed tar all over the lycanthrope’s body.

He screamed once before the flames consumed him, leaving an empty pair of shoes and his untouched clothing in his wake.

How interesting. I remembered some about the bible’s prophecies of the rapture. Their end would not result in a trip to heaven, but rather an extended stay in the Devil’s many hells. Too bad, so sad.

One down, many to go, and my schedule did not allow for negotiations, excessive screaming, or anything that prevented me from moving onto the rescue portion of my plan. Had the lycanthropes been better people who’d left my cat alone, I might’ve harbored remorse about killing them.

Alas, they had opted to screw with my cat. The only mercy they’d be getting from me would be my haste in making waste, as I had better things to be doing with my time.

I burned the lab down to piles of smoldering ash and empty clothes, and when I ran out of lycanthropes to torch, I cursed my lack of fingers, which made opening the cages difficult. As I had no idea what had been done to the poor beasts, I opted to leave the cages. The holy fire helped, as it kept the animals quiet and content while I took my temper out on the ruins of the examination tables. Once my temper cooled enough I could think beyond trying to destroy or eat the evidence, I drew a searching rune with a hoof, revealing several more of the closed, metal cases hidden in the various cabinets of the lab. I trotted the first of them up to the surface to discover company waiting for me.

Lucifer wore a suit, and one of my bosses, Mr. Thernin, who oversaw international incidents with the divine within the CDC, was with him. I flattened my ears, shook out my mane, and thrust the case to the Devil, who would survive whatever was within. He accepted it, and he placed it on the ground beside him with a show of care and caution. As I had a bunch of extra cases to haul up, I headed downstairs, grumbling curses over my new role as delivery mule.

Eleven cases later, and I considered falling over to take a nap. Not even a strong snort manifested either sort of flame, and I glared at Lucifer in reproach.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that. I wasn’t the one who decided to abuse my hellfire and holy fire privileges. Have you finished having your temper tantrum yet?”

I snapped my teeth at him, and the bastard dodged with a low chuckle.

“I see you are up to your old tricks, Lucifer,” my boss stated. “What manner of being is this?”

“She’s a nightmare. I’m quite proud of her. As I said, I’ve taken your secretary. She’d developed a rather unusual cancer, and she managed to wake a latent talent, which would have killed her. As I’m quite fond of her, I gave her a suitable form so she would continue to annoy me for many more years. Isn’t she magnificent?”

“That’s Diana?”

“She’s Diana, yes. She’s newly converted, so she’s a bit short on temper, and I set her loose here to take care of more than a few problems. You know how the newly converted can get. I’m sure there are a bunch of infected animals below needing to be put in the care of more reputable lycanthropes. I have already reclaimed her cat and put him in the care of a mutual friend.” Lucifer dared to rub my nose, and I tolerated his attention with a sigh. “You’re just annoyed because I solved a lot of problems for you, but I’m requiring Diana be transferred fully into my custody. She’s mine now. Of course, a corpse would do you no good, which is what you would have had if I hadn’t taken her. Such is the way life goes. Isn’t she magnificent?”

“That depends on what a nightmare is,” my boss replied with a shrug. “I’m glad she’s alive, I’m annoyed you took away one of my best employees, but I’m more concerned about this mess, really. And the samples you turned in, along with the readings from that scanner you got your hands on. Are you even qualified to operate it?”

“I don’t lower myself to such mundane things, Mr. Thernin, you know this. Diana operated the scanner. I merely gave you the results and the samples. However annoying it is to justify the activities of one of my rampaging minions to the CDC, I think we can agree it was better than the alternative. A slightly mad, newly converted beats the forces of my many hells and the heavens staging a more complete war on this outfit. She has removed the need. For now.”

“You told me you would explain more once you had the evidence you needed. I assume those cases contain the evidence?”

“In part. This group is not finished their work yet. This lab merely worked on the more dangerous samples.”

“Elaborate, Lucifer.”

“Smallpox.” Lucifer rested his hand on my brow between my eyes. “What she didn’t destroy, I have. A bargain was made to bring the virus back to the dead, but the time was not right for us to act. Diana could because she bends the rules. Observe.”