Page 57 of Murder Mittens

“According to what the CDC has told me, the actual direct cost of your procedure is two hundred thousand, and that excludes the hourly rate for the surgeons and the use of hospital equipment. In disposable supplies.”

I squeaked. “It’s that much in disposable supplies?”

“Yeah, that surprised me. The cream is some seriously impressive stuff. It requires the highest grade neutralizers I guess, and that stuff is not cheap, and considering how much of the cream you need, your care enters orbit. That base cost is going up dramatically, because that assumed only your face and neck.”

“Maybe we should gift wrap the body and add a little bow.”

“At least you didn’t try to convince me you’re not worth that much.”

“Well, I don’t really care if others don’t think I’m worth that much. I think having a fixed face is worth that much. I just couldn’t afford it.”

“This makes sure everyone walks away happy. So, get that laptop rolling and start reviewing the documents. I asked for everything the CDC, FBI, and general law enforcement has on Loureni to be sent to you. After how good of a time we had in Cincinnati, I think we’ll go to a spa-styled resort in his hunting grounds. Depending on the situation, we’ll come up with a cover story for why I’m around.”

“Or we see if they have any connecting rooms and we reserve both, so you’re spending all of your time with me, although you’re technically in the room next door. But really, I have no intention of bringing him to where I will be sleeping.” I snorted while booting the laptop. “With you, in case it wasn’t obvious. Lions are slow in addition to selfish.”

“I owe you a roar for that one, but I’d rather not accidentally damage something in your father’s truck. While I can afford to replace it, I’d rather spend that money elsewhere.”

“Good move. I’d probably cry if we damaged my daddy’s truck. I’m trying to figure out how to steal it. I also made the mistake of telling my family they could replace my piece of shit car. After that watch, those assholes can’t afford to replace my junker.”

“If they got you a vehicle, just repay them at Christmas. Seed their presents with cash. If they ask how you got the money, just say you mugged me for the cash out of my wallet at your leisure. Henry will tell them I can afford it, and that’ll end that. If you want payback, just do what they did to you. Get them things they need but may not be able to afford. You’ll eventually get busted being a bounty hunter. Your uncle is smart, and he’ll put the pieces together, especially if he ever gets low-grade access to my file. Which will state I’m in a permanent relationship with a hunter I’m handling.”

Crap. “I didn’t realize they put that in the files.”

“Don’t sound so worried. It’s fine. Henry isn’t stupid, and I have almost as good of a track record as you do. He knows if I’m handling you, I’ve made your job as safe as possible. I do not like losing those in my care.”

“You have, haven’t you?”

“You don’t get to my level without having lost somebody. They, being the powers that be, won’t promote someone until they’ve undergone a true trial by fire—and that involves losing someone on the job. How we handle it often determines how we’re promoted, assuming we are promoted. Henry only recently got his promotion.”

Double crap. “He lost one of his hunters?”

“What should have been a drug bust turned into a terrorism event. The hunter stopped the terrorism event, but she died in the process. Henry finished the job himself and cleaned house, which is why he was even in the running for you. Law enforcement needs handlers who can get their hands dirty. Only someone capable of understanding the job in action can really handle somebody doing that job.”

“What else could he have done?”

“He could have brought in another hunter to protect his own neck. Anyway, that’s the job that landed Henry in the big times. He gave half the bounty value for that job to the hunter’s surviving family, and I suspect the other half is what has been paying for the nice things your family is enjoying right now. He would have given the entire bounty to the family, but the family refused. He was given two easy but high-end hunters to start him off, so he’s doing well for himself.”

“They refused? Why?”

“Henry has relationships with all of his hunters and their families. They knew exactly what happened, and they knew he finished what she started. To them, it wasn’t fair they took all the money when he finished the job. They ended up donating most of it to charity. I’m guessing his version of charity is making sure his family gets ahead for a change. And with the number of children your parents have? There is no getting ahead. There is staying afloat, but there’s no getting ahead. I’m looking forward to those days, personally. I’m not sure how having mixed litters will change things, but I expect there will be a lot of hissing, purring, and roaring in our future household.”

“We need a bigger house than what my parents have, and we can pillage anything I have left over after my face is fixed for this purpose. Every penny. But every litter will get a bedroom to share. There will be no multi-litter bedrooms. We can have a larger bedroom for if any of the litters wish for a multi-litter bedroom, but every litter will have a bedroom. And we’ll get little nooks installed in each bedroom to accommodate every kitten in the litter. Privacy matters. Unless the litters wish to form a cuddle pile on the floor making use of a bean bag bed.”

“Let me guess. You have always wanted a bean bag bed.”

“Maybe.”

“Uh huh.”

“Almost as badly as I want a face that doesn’t make the kittens cry,” I admitted. “I want one big enough I get lost in it. Eaten by the bean bag. Only to be seen after someone fishes me out of it. You will be able to find me through listening for the purrs while I roll in my nest.”

“Are you sure you’re a cat?”

“Hey, I’m not just a cat. I’m the best of cats. I’m a proud and majestic lynx.”

“Who plans on getting eaten by a bean bag, expecting me to rescue you after locating you by the sounds of your purrs.”

“I have needs. That happens to be one of my needs.”