Page 74 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

I could work with that, although I worried that he’d only have to show off his perfect chest to transform me into clay for him to mold for his enjoyment. I set the second coffee down and went to work drinking the first, gesturing to the unconscious succubi littering his floor with my free hand. “What’s the deal with them?”

“I shamelessly influenced you to make certain you had appropriate exposure to my devilish energy, and I couldn’t be bothered with being considerate towards them. They were strutting like they wanted to be my wife, and if they can’t handle the excess energy, they can’t handle the real deal. They probably wanted to either complain or be left alone to recover. I’m amused you’re in better shape than they are, truth be told. Obviously, I need to step up my efforts next time. As I’m male, I typically influence females, although I can influence males at my leisure as well. Mostly, I was influencing you, and they got the excess from my efforts. I have plans to influence you as often as necessary for you to convert. There’ll still be some pain for the initial part of the process, but I fully intend to have you thoroughly distracted during that time. Your brother did not enjoy such luxuries.”

“Poor Jonas. Too bad. If he hadn’t been an idiot, he wouldn’t have been turned into a chipmunk, thus requiring such treatment. He survived, and that’s all I care about.”

“How does steak sound for a late lunch or early dinner? It is two in the afternoon where your home is.”

I licked my lips at the thought of a steak, something I usually didn’t get due to its cost. “You have my attention.”

“If we wait until four, we can begin revenge through partaking of steak in a place your target and his underlings often visit. You might even have your first approach and second poisoning by the evening. They’re pesky creatures, and they seem to prefer trying the same trick twice. They are under the impression you were careful to avoid being poisoned with their first experiments, as your general plans to acquire revenge were delayed.”

“And one of the archangels likely purged the poison to keep you from additionally rampaging?” I guessed. “Alloces triggered enough of a rampage without you having additional reason to rampage.”

“Yes,” the Devil replied, his expression darkening.

“I feel you should know that your chest really is perfect.”

He sighed and his body relaxed. “And you say I have a spot fetish. You’re just out for my chest.”

“I see no reason to be ashamed of my interest in your chest.”

“Just as I see no reason to be ashamed of my desire to possess all of your spots.”

“Revenge first, spots later. Have you picked where my fish will live?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. We’ve already set up for their stay. I’ll show you.”

I slid off the Devil’s desk, retrieved my second coffee, and dodged fallen succubi on my way to the door. “And yes, I can still walk, and I wish to maintain my ability to walk on my own for the moment.”

The Devil pouted. “Must you?”

“Yes. I don’t want to drop my coffee.”

He chuckled, beat me to the door, and opened it for me. “Do allow me to show you to your trophy room. I think you’ll find it perfect for your special needs.” At the sound of the door opening, my new kittens came running out of the bedroom, and they didn’t care who they crawled over. They rubbed against our legs when they caught up with us.

I smiled at their antics, thrust a coffee to the Devil, and crouched to pet them both once I had a free hand. “Special needs?”

“I’ve noticed you require copious amounts of coffee, so there is a new coffee machine for you and an ice maker so you can indulge should I be unavailable to provide coffee for you.”

I gave both kittens a final stroke before rising. “You have my attention.”

“This way.” The Devil led me down one of the infinite hallways of his home carrying my second coffee, and our kittens bounced along with us. “Your trophy room will also be one of your offices for when you need a little space and a change of environment. So far, I’ve picked three offices for you, and most of them are adjacent to mine.”

“Why do you have so many offices?”

“I get bored after a while, so I switch offices to have a change of pace. You’ll get it after the first decade of being in the same office.”

“That’s what redecorating is for.”

“I just redecorate the new office right before I move into it. I cycle through them.”

“You’re weird.”

The Devil laughed. “If weird is what you like, then I am pleased to be weird for you.” Pausing at a door, he nodded to it. “This is one of my offices. There will be a connecting door installed, but for now, we’ll have to come down the hall if you’re in your trophy room. I was told I cannot just punch a hole through the wall.”

“You would disturb my fish if you did that.”

“I resent I cannot simply kill your new pet fish. Alloces was moved into his new home while I was keeping you amused.”