Page 23 of A Chip on Her Shoulder

“You disturb me,” Gabriel announced.

“If that’s all it takes to disturb you, I’ll make sure to go shirtless and wear flames in your presence,” the gruff, deep voice announced, and a moment later, the incubus from the painting strode out from behind a column deep within the vaulted chamber. Rather than flames, he wore a black suit with black shirt and tie. “It’s unlike you to bring a guest to my home, Gabriel.”

“I only handled the teleportation. Michael issued the invitations.”

“Really, Michael? You brought a human woman to my domain?” The incubus strode closer, looking me over, and his gaze settled on my brother, who hid in my hair the instant the Devil’s gaze fell upon him. “Not quite human. A snow leopard? You brought a snow leopard to my hells? It is bad enough you would bring a woman, but to bring a feline?”

If the Devil was trying to paint a target on his pretty chest, he did an admirable job of it. I would have to put some thought into if I wanted to take over the place to get at the Devil or take it over for my other goals.

Why settle for one or the other? I’d enjoy the scenery while running the place.

“Indeed,” Michael confirmed. “You are unwittingly in her debt.”

I liked the sound of that. “I’ll accept complete rulership of your hells until I grow tired of it or have no use of it as repayment. You could also do as I wish out of the generosity and kindness of your heart.” Somehow, I kept my expression calm and neutral. “You’ll do all the work I don’t want to, of course, but Michael and Gabriel implied you have a dungeon, and I would like to make extended use of it.”

The Devil’s attention snapped from my brother to me. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Absolutely not. Originally, I was just planning on conquering the place so I could make use of the dungeons until I’m done with my dirty work, but after getting a look at you, I definitely need to add you to my conquering. Michael, why wouldn’t the succubi want him? He’s hot. I mean, he’s the Devil, so it’s not like I have to keep him long term unless he’s that good, right?”

“I already told you succubi dislike monogamy, and for all his faults, my brother typically prefers his women one at a time. To pay them proper attention, or so he claims. He does not like admitting his angelic nature makes him wish to indulge in monogamy. The succubi do not wish to be monogamous for all eternity, nor do they wish to have the responsibilities of being the Queen of Hell.”

“I don’t care about titles, I just need to run the place for a while,” I replied.

The Devil’s mouth dropped open, but he remained silent.

I took another look around the entry, snapping my fingers at the doors. “Stop air conditioning the outdoors.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

The doors closed. “How am I in this woman’s debt, Michael?”

“She secured the safety of an infant you hold responsibility for, and she has done so for a period of sixteen years.”

I raised a brow, narrowing my eyes while considering the archangel. “You’re playing both of us, aren’t you?”

Maybe I couldn’t see Michael’s head, I suspected the asshole archangel smiled. “Perhaps.”

“You know what? I don’t care. Look, Mr. Devil, I need to use your hells for a while.” I pointed at my chipmunk brother. “Some assholes did this to my brother, and I’ve the word of an archangel these assholes are in some serious need of justice, and you’re my best chance of securing that. Killing the fuckers isn’t good enough. After I kill them, I want to come here and continue my dirty work until they’ve paid for their sins. All of them. And the one? He sent me rose petals and implied I should showcase my assets for him.”

The Devil didn’t bother to hide his head-to-toe visual examination of my body. “Any man with functioning eyeballs would want your assets showcased for his enjoyment.”

“Thank you, but I really can’t afford to have some man—or fallen angel—distracting me right now. I’d really like to make use of your hells for a while. What do you say?”

“Perhaps, for a price.”

“You already owe me. I’m also worried. You look pretty, but you don’t look pretty reliable.” I circled the Devil, admiring the cut of his suit. “Michael, is this an incubus thing? Are they all like this?”

“An incubus does need to appeal to their target to work their magic. It is much harder to entice a human who has no interest. My brother has had many ages to hone his skills.”

“That’s nice, but I’m not here for a good time. Well, not that good of a time. He’s definitely worth admiring.”

“It disturbs me how honest you are being about this. What an interesting human. You acknowledge your attraction for his current form, but you will not indulge in your human nature.” Michael laughed, fluttered his wings, and shrugged. “It seems you have met your match this time, Lucifer.”

“I think not.”

Well, that wouldn’t help me accomplish my goals. “Let’s try that again. Would you please loan me your hells for a while? The duration will be determined by the completion of my plans. These include revenge on the assholes who did this to my brother, restoring my brother to an at least humanoid shape, and taking care of some other business involving a little girl who’ll be a woman by the time I make my moves. I’ll decide precisely what I’ll do later for that.”