Page 43 of Grave Humor

“Fair.” Jeff crouched, and because he was as stupid as he was annoying, he held his hand out to the dog. The dog turned his head and refused to sniff his fingers. “I reckon he don’t like me much.”

“Well, you were probably standing over there debating if you wanted to shoot him while he was on my porch. Dogs aren’t stupid.”

“Right. I won’t cause any trouble, and I’ll spread the word to leave your mutt alone. Just try to keep him to your yard where he belongs.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Those men will be sticking around?”

“For a while. My boss is looking into business opportunities in this area.” While not necessarily the truth, it wasn’t a lie, either. Business opportunities meant new jobs, and nobody wanted to annoy someone who might bring new jobs into the area.

“What about those winged folk who came around?”

“They were asking questions about the funeral home.”

“Ah. McGregor. Right pity about him.”

The dog turned his ears back, and I didn’t need angelic abilities to recognize the bastard lied. “Just don’t let him hear you saying anything like that. As far as I know, they haven’t gotten him to go back to his grave where he belongs yet, not with everything going on.”

Jeff grimaced at that. “That just ain’t right, Anwen.”

“Respect the dead, and you won’t have to worry about it, now will you? And if you hear anything suspicious, you do the right thing and tell the cops about it.”

“Suspicious?”

Sometimes, staring at the local idiots and waiting got the results I wanted, and it didn’t take long for Jeff to clue in what I meant.

“Look, just because most of us didn’t like the old bastard…”

I kept staring.

“Now, you look here, missy.”

“I have an angel’s phone number, Jeff. And should I find there’s been suspicious things goin’ on round here that cost that poor old man his life, I’ll call. I don’t really give a damn if you didn’t like him. I don’t like you much right now for looking at my dog the way you did, and you don’t see me going out of my way to get you off my lawn, now do you? I don’t care if people didn’t like him. If you’ve heard something suspicious, maybe you should let somebody know, because that just ain’t right.”

“His wife got tired of him, and she bought a bottle of the stuff he likes best and put it out of reach, and he liked his liquor enough he took the bait and paid for it. Maybe if he hadn’t been such a drunk, he’d be alive right now.”

Poor Old Man McGregor. “That wasn’t too hard, now was it? Everyone in town know about this?”

“Exceptin’ a few, we know.”

“Do the right thing, Jeff. And that don’t mean toss McGregor under a bus because nobody liked him all that much. Sure, he was an annoying old man, but he was nicer than most around here.”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me. From where I’ve been sitting, he’s been nicer to me than most of the rest of you combined, so don’t make me go do the right thing when you all should have been better. And I don’t need a high school diploma to have a sense of decency. And maybe if you all had a sense of decency, well, maybe I’d have a high school diploma right now, but that’s how towns like this are. You all are good at pretending, though, I’ll give you that.”

“Pretending?”

“Looking the other way when my folks come around and try to take me for even more money I don’t have, screaming at my door, and making themselves the talk of the town as usual.”

“Looks like those men helped you grow a spine,” Jeff replied with a raised brow.

“No, sir. She had the spine all along. She’s just stopped caring what you’ll think about her because she valued her previous job. She’s under no such restrictions now.” Gordon smiled, and he showed off his pointed incisors. “Should you see Director Hammel around, do give the police a call. He’s got a great deal of explaining to do.”

“What’s he done now, anyway?”

“Killed a good man and ushered others to their graves as well.” The vampire crouched in the doorway and rested his hand on the stray’s back. “Don’t trust that one. He’s a snake in a man’s clothing.”