Page 25 of Grave Humor

I pointed at the general earnings account, which represented approximately ten percent of his liquid assets. “The amount in this account would leave me comfortable for life, I would never have to work another day in my life, and I’d leave someone a nice inheritance when I kicked the bucket.”

“You would become bored if you never worked.”

I nodded, as I doubted he could ever understand what it was like to never be able to miss a day of work even if ill. A missed day meant I wouldn’t be eating for a few days, and starving sucked. I’d done it a few too many times since dropping out of high school. “I likely would, yes. And you?”

“I find ways to keep engaged and busy during my awakenings.”

“I figured. Your caretakers needed something to get them started to accumulate this much wealth on your behalf.”

“They had good incentive. I look forward to that director’s demise for his part in killing them.”

“But you didn’t know them.”

“I don’t need to know them. While it has long since been repaid, I once owed their ancestor a debt. I remember such things. Director Hammel will not appreciate his fate.”

Eoghan wouldn’t hear me complain about that. “I just don’t understand how you can be so wealthy.”

“When I first lost my humanity, I chased wealth to give me mundane purpose. I exist for a reason, and I understand that. Mine is a role that I cannot escape, which is something I accepted long ago. But then, I did not and could not. As such, I chased wealth. I owed a debt, and I used my pursuit of wealth to repay that debt. We forged an alliance after, and so here we are. The circle completes. Their line is lost, and a new line begins with you. The circumstances are reversed, although a wager is not quite the same sort of debt I owed.”

“But it is still a debt. It’s my turn to try to fill these shoes?”

“They have generations of experience and drive, passed down from father to son, mother to daughter—and even aunts and uncles to nieces and nephews. It saddens me a family so old no longer walks upon this Earth, but few can avoid death’s neutral embrace. You’ll have time to learn, and if you need help, I will find capable people to help you.”

Guilt over my self-centered tendencies reared its head. I’d just lost a shit job, albeit one of the only jobs in the town I could get. He’d lost everything important, things no amount of money could buy. “It must be hard for you.”

“How so?”

“Everyone you’ve ever known is gone.”

Eoghan nodded. “This is true. They have all gone, but death is not the final conclusion of a life’s journey. I have lived long enough to see old friends be reborn, and I rejoice when I cross their path a second time. The soul remembers. Have you ever met someone you feel like you’ve known forever?”

I shook my head. “I’m weird that way. I never have.”

“Then yours may be a new soul, one that can find the true joy of first discoveries. I have met many souls for a second time. That’s something. The friends I once had are gone, but their soul continues on, and that makes things easier. I never know who I’ll meet again down the road.”

“But how do you know?”

“Magic, of course. For most, when they meet me again, it is a feeling they’ve met me somewhere else before. For me, it is a sense of recognition, and with some thought, I can usually remember who they’d once been.”

“Deja vu!”

Eoghan’s brow furrowed. “That is not your English, is it? It sounds wrong somehow.”

“It’s French.”

“Ah. How odd. It’s as if it’s a part of your language yet it’s also not.”

“English is the language that takes other languages into dark alleys and mugs them for their loose grammar.”

“Pardon?”

“English butchers other languages in dark alleys, taking their words and grammar and claiming them for itself. As a result, us English speakers can’t even figure out how our own language works because it insists on breaking all of the rules. The only consistent rule in English is that every rule has an exception. Then, to make matters worse, it keeps changing. Every damned time I think I get something right, someone goes and decides we should do it a different way. English is a rebellious language.”

“You speak a rebellious language?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. It’s a vicious, terrible language. It’s completely wild and untamed, and if left unsupervised, I’m certain it will start a revolt for the hell of it.”

Eoghan chuckled. “I am up for a challenge. I believe you’ll find me to be an excellent student. I have learned many languages over the years. Your English will not defeat me, no matter how rebellious it is.”