Page 85 of Meteor Storm

“And how exactly do you think he reacted to me?” I muttered.

“Most monrians are bred in a facility that carefully weeds out weakness and unneeded physical and psychological traits. A long time ago, we eliminated a trait called Ahaar. It is, as you have said, a chemical reaction between a male and female who desire to breed. It bonds the two. Causes them to be acutely aware of the other to better protect each other and determine the best times to reproduce.”

“It’s a primal characteristic that we no longer needed,” Kora joined. “So, we bred it out of us. Mating is a thing of the past. We cross bloodlines and genetics as we see fit, so our bodies no longer have a need to bond in that fashion. And the desire only distracts our soldiers.”

“However,” Naan said, her eyes moving over my body in slow and precise motions as she began to circle me. “Thilar is experiencing this reaction with you and it boggles us.” She pinched a strand of my hair, running it through her fingers. “That he’s allowed himself to bond with you is as much a puzzle as the fact that he was capable in the first place.”

“Do humans experience this?” Kora asked.

“Yes. In a way,” I said. “We feel attraction toward others. Sometimes it’s just sexual. Sometimes it’s more. We can’t quite explain why. It just happens.”

“And do both parties always reciprocate those feelings?”

“No, not always.”

“Then you do not feel the same for Thilar?”

I stared up into Naan’s eyes and watched the pure blackness recede into a heavy gold color.

“I didn’t say that,” I said softly.

She watched me closely, studying every micromovement in my face like she could read each one with perfect ease.

“Then what do you feel for him?”

My heart stuttered at the question. My gaze wandered past her to the holographic images of Thilar’s records floating over the desk beside mine, the symbols and pictures crowding the space with everything that was him. His past. His future. All the pieces that made him. I felt my body yearning to be next to him even then. I felt my mind weeping at the idea that we might never see each other again after that day. My heart tore in half. To even suggest that I didn’t feel something for him was almost insulting.

“I…” I said, swallowing a growing lump in my throat. “I love him.”

The word tasted bittersweet on my tongue. I slowly looked back up at Naan to see her expression unchanged. She was still analyzing, seeing everything as a study.

“This word,” she said. “What does it mean to you?”

“It’s… it means I care about him a lot.” As I spoke, I could feel myself coming to terms with how true it was and I almost felt my legs wanting to collapse beneath me. “It means that I’m terrified.” Tears started to burn my eyes and I chased them down, telling myself that I had to appear strong for these women. I had a hunch that they didn’t respect weakness. “I’m terrified of the two of you deciding to punish him. Or separate us.”

“Why would you care about his punishment?”

“I want to protect him.”

“And why would separating the two of you be terrifying?”

“Because humans aren’t engineered. No one bred any traits out of us. When we lose someone we love, it tears us apart.” My thoughts wandered to Natascha and my failures regarding her and my past life. I swallowed hard, clearing my throat. “You think that’s a weakness,” I chuffed. “And I do, too. But it’s a weakness that I’m not evolved enough to control. Thilar is the only reason I’m alive. And I have no one back home. I don’t even have a home. So, right now, he’s the only reason I want to be.”

“If we severed this attachment, would it damage you physically?”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t kill me. It would destroy me for a while. I would cope well enough to survive, but I would hurt for the rest of my life.”

Again, she stared at me, taking in every word and likely peeling it apart to its very core.

“You are an enigma, Penelope. This reaction Thilar has had to you, the priests on Kalhor will be eager to know about it. They are reluctant to forget our ancient ways. The fact this genetic trait prevails in him will likely rekindle their connection to their gods. They’ll want him to pay them a visit. As it stands, Thilar is now considered a botched creation. Something went wrong in his design. The more superstitious individuals will see it the other way around.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means he is unfit to join another unit and even more unfit to command one. Typically, this would call for reconditioning, but genetic flaws cannot be reconditioned.”

I hated the way she was talking about Thilar, but I had no leg to stand on in that room, so I bit my tongue.

“What would—”