Page 69 of Meteor Storm

I paused, a spoonful of stew only inches from my lips. “I told Penny she would be returning to her people.”

“And she will be. Naan just has questions. She has never seen a human. None of us have. Not in the flesh. And because this was not an approved or monitored situation, she of course has curiosities, especially following the news about that valerian general and his mate. I’m certain—”

“Penny is not my mate.”

“I did not say that.”

I lowered my head at the uncontrolled tone I had toward Yuros and took my first bite of food. Yuros began to eat as well, but I could feel that he had more to say. He chose to leave me with my thoughts for a while and I almost wished he hadn’t. My thoughts had been a burden lately. I was missing the consistency of a mission. Of a well-organized crew that I was a part of and not just a passenger in. Of stability.

Foolishly, I let my eyes wander to the far corner where Sunhai and Penny were talking about something that clearly amused them both. Penny was making large gestures with her hands as if to explain something and Sunhai looked bewildered, resting her chin on her fist as she fought to understand. When she finally shook her head as if to surrender, Penny rolled her head back, exasperated.

But then everything about her face changed.

It lit up with something I’d seen only a handful of times on a handful of people. Pure, uncontrolled delight. A moment of forgetfulness where she could allow a spark of joy to take over. A blink of carelessness. Her lips spread into a wide and beautiful grin. Her eyes squeezed shut. And the sound. That sound was musical. Despite her past. Despite the horrors of Mekah and the stresses of her current situation, she found a small window where she could see past it all and smile.

Laughter. It was laughter.

Bit by bit, that woman was eating away at me, claiming small pieces, and I knew, one day, she could very well destroy me. I was not meant to feel and yet, for her, I did. I was not meant to want and yet I wanted her. Desperately. I was not meant to stray and yet she stole my every thought.

And I was not supposed to act on any of it…

Yuros cleared his throat and my eyes instantly snapped toward him. He wove his fingers together on the table and leaned forward, studying me.

“Tell me what you are feeling,” he said in a mathematical tone, like I was under some kind of scientific observation.

“I feel nothing,” I lied.

“Lying is dishonorable.”

I hissed, lowering my head in shame.

Perhaps I wanted to be punished. Then I would remember who I was.

“Should I ask again?” Yuros pressed. “Your heartrate is irregular, your body heat exceeds the average, and it is not hard to tell that your mind is straying. I’ve never seen such an established soldier look so unfocused.”

“It is the woman,” I confessed. “Or perhaps it is many things.”

“What about the woman?”

“I cannot balance my thoughts when she is here.”

“Should we have her returned to a different wing of the ship? Was it unwise to not keep you separate?”

“It is not her presence that haunts me. It’s her existence. I have not been able to get my mind off her since…” I trailed off. As disgraceful as it was, since the arena—since I felt her body squeezing my cock—she was a splinter I couldn’t ignore.

“Is it a human trait to—”

“No, not like that. I just… I cannot stop thinking about her. In ways I should not think about her or anyone else for that matter.”

Yuros swallowed a bite of his stew, his eyes wandering briefly as he gave my words some thought. Then he placed his spoon in the bowl and folded his hands loosely on the table.

“From what you have told me about Mekah Prime and Pek-Tol’s archaic methods of keeping his stock obedient, your mind might be experiencing attachments you wouldn’t otherwise. The two of you were in that situation together. It stands to reason you would feel a bond.”

“Perhaps. It feels different. Not like bonding with a unit member after a tense battle. This feels…” I paused, not wanting to downplay my condition. “More intimate. Even from here, I’m aware of her mood. I can hear her pulse. I can scent her, even among everyone else.”

Yuros’ brows twitched, the expression so slight, I almost missed it.

“The kind of bond you’re referring to is—”