Page 173 of Challenge Me

When I looked at Mal, she turned away. She wouldn’t speak to me since I’d let Remi leave. She didn’t understand why, and I couldn’t blame her. I was struggling to explain it to myself.

As soon as she screamed my name, every part of me knew. Maybe I’d known when he told me he was going for a smoke. It was in his voice, too practiced, too easy, like he’d drawn on a version of himself that had once needed that measured calm to survive. If he’d used that voice as he left me, I thought that meant something.

What was the point of chasing him right now anyway? He would’ve no doubt been gone already, and I wasn’t about to run him down in my car like a maniac. That would’ve made front-page news.

God, that shit was infecting my brain. It was no wonder he’d wanted out. I fucking wanted out right now.

“She’ll come around,” Avery assured me softly. “She doesn’t understand. Frankly, I don’t either.”

“I figured you’d understand more than anyone.”

“I came into this with you, Amir. I was there building you up from the start, and I knew what to expect. It wasn’t just your dream; it was ours.”

“That makes me feel worse,” I sighed.

She gave me a warm smile. “I thought we’d moved past all that. Anyway, maybe Remi didn’t know what to expect. You kept things quiet for so long, it probably felt easy then, before it went public.”

I looked away from her. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Mal will be okay. We’ll see you at the game, alright?”

I gave her a hug, then glanced at Mal. She still refused to look at me, and when I moved closer, she walked out the door. The door closed, shutting out the moonlight.

Left alone in the house I’d once shared with my family, then with Remi, I tried to remember how to exist. I made myself a cup of tea and as I poured the steaming water over the leaves, the scent reminded me of home, back in a simpler time.

Oh, what I’d give to be eighteen again, terrified that my life was over when Avery found out she was pregnant. We’d only been seniors then, and my parents were pissed we’d been so irresponsible.

I thought about calling them. Maybe if I told them how I’d screwed up and failed to protect Remi from the worst parts of this life, they’d tell me how much of an idiot I was. That was probably something I needed, but not right this second.

Tea in hand, I returned to the room, even though I dreaded it. I’d seen the note on his pillow before I got out of bed. Somehow, I’d refrained from looking at it. Now that Mal was gone, I had no excuse not to.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. What sounded better was driving to that damn bar and making him do it for me. I wanted to hear it from his lips. He was better at writing than speaking his feelings, and I wanted to feel them as his voice shook through the words.

The paper trembled in my fingers as I picked it up. Beneath it, there was a flash drive, but I decided to leave it for the moment.

I clenched my teeth as I stared at his familiar handwriting. It was so elegant, like it matched the words that flowed from his lips.

“Damnit, Remi,” I muttered before I started to read.

The paper began to crumple, but I stopped myself. Folding it gently, I returned it to the pillow. It was the last piece of him I had, and it belonged where he’d once lain his head.

Well, not the last piece.

I grabbed the flash drive and stood to hunt down my laptop. Dropping onto the couch, I loaded it up.

There were multiple documents on it. The first was an order to vacate, and Remi’s name was listed at the top, along with a case number.

“New exculpatory evidence was presented following the conviction of the adult offender . . . establishing significant mitigating circumstances surrounding Mr. Remi Keane’s conduct.”

Like he’d said, the court cleared him of the crime after the fact. I already knew enough, I thought, but I clicked on the next document. Evan Keane. The name made my blood boil. When I saw that Remi had been a party to the case, I didn’t want to read further, but he’d given this to me, so I thought that I had a responsibility to.

“Juvenile male, age nine and age ten at the time that incidents occurred.”

My stomach roiled, and I had to take a deep breath.

“ . . . did continuously and repeatedly commit lewd acts upon a child under the legal age of consent.”

“Count I . . .”