Page 50 of Bound By Blood

She finally blinked

She loved him too, but how could she tell him that when he was so hell-bent on not going further in . . . whatever this was between them? How could she open up when he could so easily rip it away? When he could break her with a few words? Shatter her with his death.

She stomped after him, refusing to back down. “Give me a reason to show you everything! I know it’s not fair that I ask you to show your cards first, but give me a reason, Landon. Why would I show you everything when you’re going to fucking kill yourself for me? Why would I put myself through that? Give me a fucking reason!”

Now by the door, he spun around quickly to glare at her. “Why? What good would it do? I’ve already shown you more than I have shown anyone else, and it’s still not enough for you. I am not enough for you.”

He was enough for her. Why couldn’t he see that? “You’re only giving me half of you!”

“And you’ve given me none of you!”

She took a step back, slapped by the abrupt volume of his voice.

She heaved her breaths, staring at him as tears pricked the corner of her eyes. She gritted her teeth against them, but one managed to spill down her cheek anyway when she blinked. “I don’t know how, okay?” she said quietly. “I don’t know how to give you more of me. I’ve never had to. My entire life, I have had to be closed off to those around me to protect myself. Those who have said they loved me never meant it. I don’t know how to lower those walls.”

Landon let out a long breath. “I know.” His voice was lower now, sadder. “And that’s why this will never work. That’s why I have to break this thing before it destroys both of us.”

She angrily wiped a tear away with the back of her hand, her heart cleaved in two. “So that’s it? You’re just giving up? On me? On us? On whatever this is between us?” It hurt more than she was willing to admit. Her chest ached due to the fact that she might not be enough, as dysfunctional as she was. She had never been enough for anyone.

He reached out and snatched his coat off the hook and pulled it on. “I have to keep something for myself, Carly,” he muttered. “You’ve taken everything else from me. My cold, dead heart. My soul. I have nothing left to give, except my life to make sure you remain free. Alive. Breathing. Isn’t that enough?”

She panicked at his words and the coat now on his shoulders. “Where are you going?”

“Out.” The sound of the zipper cut between them. “There’s something I need to take care of.”

“Then, I’m coming with.” She plucked up her own coat from the hook and slipped her arms through the puffy sleeves. She was not going to let him kill himself. She wouldn’t stand by and sit at the cabin while he did it either.

Landon cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t even know where I’m going.”

“I am not leaving your side.”

He studied her for several long moments before he finally shrugged. “Fine. Whatever. But you do not get in my way. Once the monster is unleashed, I won’t have any control over what he does. You get in his way, you risk getting hurt too.”

She promised him nothing. She would stab herself in the heart before she allowed him to leave this world. If she had to jump in the way of a blade plunging for his chest, then so be it. She wouldn’t let him give up his life because she happened to be inserted into his.

Because she loved him enough to do so.

He opened the door, the snow pushing in at their feet and the cold pinching their cheeks. Together, they headed back out into the night.

Chapter 19

Landon Creed

For the second time that day, Landon pulled the rental car up outside of Kata’s decrepit cabin and killed the engine. Neither he nor Carly had said a word the entire drive, which was becoming a pattern for them. He had been sure that she was going to continue to interrogate him or try to talk him out of doing what he knew had to be done. He figured that was why she had insisted on accompanying him. But instead, she just sat there quietly, staring out of the window as if lost in thought.

As the silence shrouded the night once more, he took a deep, shuddering breath. He could feel the darkness clawing inside of him, begging to be set free. It had been a while since he had fully succumbed to the beast within him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold him back. Just the thought of what he had come here to do had him close to losing control. But it had to be done. He had to protect Carly at all costs.

Carly’s insistence on joining him on this little endeavor had been an unwelcome surprise. He knew it was dangerous having her along, considering the amount of darkness he would be unleashing, but if he knew her as well as he believed he did, then he would have had to tie her to the bed in order to get her to stay. Though he’d admit, the thought of tying her up was rather pleasing.

Besides, she did say that she wanted to see his dark side. She was insistent on it, in fact. So now, she was about to get a front-row seat to the monster he truly was deep inside. Maybe then, she’d heed his warning and allow him to break the bond between them without any further fight. While it wasn’t what he wanted, as Carly brought out a side of him that he thought had long since been dead, her safety was all he cared about. And being with him was the exact opposite of keeping her safe. It was painting a bright-ass target on her back, and he would never forgive himself if something happened to her because of him.

He had meant it when he told her he loved her, though the words had surprised him too when they came out of his mouth. He used to think that love was a thing of the past for him, something that vampires never got to experience. Monsters like him didn’t get their happily-ever-after, but then Carly came along and changed everything. She changed him.

In just a short amount of time, he had grown to care about something other than his next kill. He learned that he, too, could have compassion, something his father would claim was a weakness that enemies could exploit. He wouldn’t go so far as to say he was capable of kindness, but he wasn’t as ruthless as he had been before. Yet, most of all, he learned that even someone as lost and condemned as he was could find someone to reignite hope in his otherwise dark and twisted life.

Carly was that for him. She was his light even in the darkest of times. Which was why he had to do everything within his power to save her. To protect her from the darkness and depravity of his world. She may not agree with it now, but eventually, she’d see that everything he did from here on out was for her. She was his life now, everything he could have possibly wanted and then some.

The atmosphere inside the car began to thicken as the darkness of his monster permeated the air around them, pulling him from his thoughts. A sinister and menacing feeling began to fill the space as he continued to lose his grip on reality. He stiffly climbed out of the car without a word, his eyes already darkening as he prepared himself to give in to his monster completely.