Page 49 of Bound By Blood

Kata, the crazy bitch, said that one of them had to die, and Landon clearly took that as law. He took it to his heart, sure his future was limited on this planet so that she could live, that she could remain a secret to his father.

Slowly, she shook her head and looked back to the empty fireplace while a lump formed in her throat. He was going to die for her, and she had no intention of letting that happen. They could find a way. They could be together if they just found a way to get past his father’s reach as Kata had suggested.

She sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose, the slight pain welcoming. Immortals and babies and death. God, what was she going to do if she ever got pregnant? How could she bring a baby into this world if the father ever killed himself to save her? Did she even want to be a mother? She didn’t know. She didn’t have answers to any of her questions.

The more her thoughts swirled like the snow outside, the angrier she was that Landon wasn’t out here to discuss them with her. He should be here with her. This was something that they both should talk about because it involved both of them now.

It wasn’t so cut and dried, black and white, no matter how much he thought it was.

Carly stood from the couch and headed to his room. There was no way he was going to shut her out like he was right now. They needed to have a conversation about this.

She knocked lightly on his door with her knuckles. She frowned when he didn’t answer. Slowly, she turned the cold knob, and when the door was cracked open, she called his name.

The door creaked as she pushed it open a little more. She found him sitting at the edge of his bed with his head propped up by his hands. “Landon?” she called again. He looked so stressed, so defeated. She could understand that feeling. She felt the same, but there was one thing she was sure of: He wasn’t going to die for her.

“Can we talk?”

Landon sighed heavily and scrubbed his face with his hands before looking up blankly at the wall in front of him. “There’s nothing to talk about, Carly.” His voice was flat, devoid of any and all emotion. She had never seen him look so lost and defeated before. Landon wasn’t one to ever lay down to defeat.

She wanted to reach out to him, to wipe away his stress, but she couldn’t bring herself to move from the door for fear that he would stop talking to her. So, she propped herself against the doorframe instead. “There’s plenty to talk about,” she said softly, knowing that this conversation between them was going to be fragile.

Landon lowered his head, hanging it between his shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

She crossed her arms and shivered a bit. She had a feeling those words didn’t leave his lips often. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. We have to figure this out. Your death is not an option. I won’t allow it, so we need to figure out what we are going to do.”

“There’s plenty to be sorry about, Carly. Because of me, you are . . .” He paused to shake his head. “There’s just a lot to be sorry about.” It didn’t go unnoticed that he had seemingly avoided the topic of his death.

“I’m what? Immortal?” She went to him now and kneeled before him, not caring that the uneven concrete floor dug into her knees. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you. It only enhances it. If you died, I would never recover from it.”

Landon laughed humorlessly. “Carly, you’ve known me a short time. We’ve had sex once. You’ll move on and get over me. And now you have your whole life, and then some, to do so. But I’m not going to continue putting you at risk like I am. Not when you don’t know the real me. The . . . darkness I have kept hidden from you.” He shook his head again and pushed himself to his feet, stepping around her. “This is the only way to ensure your safety.”

She stood up and balled her fingers into fists at her side. “This conversation isn’t over. You have no idea what I feel for you, so please stop pretending you do.” He paused in his step, so she pressed on. “I’m not scared of your dark side. You keep saying you have one, but I haven’t seen it yet. Not really. So, if you’re so insistent that you have one, show me, and get it over with so we can move on from the fact that you have a side I haven’t seen yet.”

Landon growled in frustration, his back still turned toward her. “You need to stop pretending like you aren’t afraid of anything. Like you’re invincible! There are things out in the world that would scare the shit out of you, and I am one of them. And until you accept that, you won’t be getting anything from me.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow. “Show me what I should be scared of, Landon.”

He finally turned to face her. His top lip was curled. “No.”

“Why are you so scared to show me every part of you?” She opened her arms out beside her, encompassing the world. “I am part of your world now, whether you like it or not.”

“Damn it, Carly!” He spun around and shoved his fist through the concrete wall, sending dust and debris falling to the ground. His shoulders rose and fell with every heavy breath he took.

He braced his hand against the hole he made and said, “If you knew the truth about me, if you knew the monster that I have kept hidden from you, day in and day out, it would change everything! It would change the way you look at me, the way you feel about me, and I . . . I can’t go through that. I have never felt as strongly for another person as this before, and that is what scares me. Alright?” He swiveled toward her. “So, leave it be.”

She stepped closer to him, angry, and pointed at him. “No. You don’t get to decide for me. You don’t get to dictate how I feel about you and what I may or may not feel once you open up to me completely. That’s not fair.”

Landon grabbed her and pinned her to the wall beside the bed, eyes darkening. He had one hand on either side of her head, boxing her in with his body. His nearness, his body heat, pressed against her, and she shivered as she stared up at his face, studying the hard lines. She couldn’t help the way she felt having him this close, even as angry as he was. She would always be affected by him. Always.

“Not fair?” he growled. “You know what’s not fair? You! Coming into my life and demanding that I change, that I do things your way or no way! I have been doing things a certain way for centuries, and you are demanding I let you in, demanding I tell you everything about who I am and what I’ve done when you yourself refuse to do the same. You say that I don’t get to decide how you feel when you are doing the exact same thing to me. That’s not how any relationship is supposed to work, Carly, romantic or otherwise.”

He reached up and moved a hair from her forehead, a soft touch that contradicted his tone. “You don’t get to demand I show you anything when you’ve done nothing but keep me at arm’s length. You refuse to budge on anything, refuse to compromise. Even if I did decide to let you into my world completely, it would never work between us because I can’t trust someone who refuses to become just as vulnerable as I would be. You are stubborn and hardheaded. You refuse to let anyone in out of fear of getting hurt. You are constantly picking fights and throwing out attitude, and yet, I still fucking love you!”

He let out a breath and pushed himself off the wall, flexing his jaw. “You are just too closed off and too hell-bent on keeping me at a distance to see that I would rather die than hurt you. And you are too guarded to let yourself feel the same. So, no, Carly. It’s not fair. But what you are doing to me isn’t fair either. And I’m done. I’m breaking this bond between us whether you want me to or not.”

And with that, he turned and walked out of the bedroom, leaving her staring after him in shock.

She fixated on the space he was once in. He just told her he loved her. It came when she least expected it, and even though what he said about her was true, that was all she could focus on for a heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Three.