Page 101 of Insidious

“Isaac.”

“I’m trying.”

I bite down hard on a laugh. He sounds painfully meek, like a man being interrogated by an extremely disappointed general.

“And what about you?” Mum asks suddenly.

“I’m fine.”

“That was not the question.”

Another long pause. He is probably wondering how to tell his mother-in-law that he has been abstinent for a while now. Or not.

Then, more gently, she asks, “Are you taking care of yourself? Eating properly? Are you sleeping now?”

“Eating fine. Trying to sleep,” he admits quietly.

“Don’t forget your own health in all this,” Mum scolds. “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

There’s a long silence after that.

Then Isaac says, very softly, “I know.”

And suddenly, I don’t feel like laughing anymore. While Isaac is taking care of me, who is taking care of Isaac?

Chapter 27

Luna

Sandra still calls despite repeatedly insisting she wouldn’t “cross professional boundaries”.

Apparently, those boundaries dissolved somewhere between my third crying breakdown and her smuggling me chocolate after Isaac unloaded everything on me.

Now, she rings every few days under the pretence of “checking in”, while absolutely behaving like a foster mum who has adopted me. I can’t say I am not grateful.

“I have a question,” I tell her the afternoon after Chloe got slaughtered. Amelie contact naps on my chest.

Sandra hums. “That tone suggests I’m about to hear something deeply personal.”

“Unfortunately for both of us, yes.”

I hear her laugh softly down the line. I stare at the ceiling for a second before forcing myself to say it. Talking about this … just sucks.

“I loved sex. I mean, I couldn’t get enough of Isaac before. But now … I don’t … feel sexual.”

There’s no hesitation from her.

“That’s normal after a delivery, Luna.”

“I mean not sexual at all,” I continue quickly. “Like … My boobs don’t feel sensitive anymore. They’re basically public utilities at this point.”

Sandra snorts.

“I’m serious. I feel scared, wondering if this is how it is going to be.”

“I am not surprised.”

I shift slightly on the sofa, a little bit shy, a little bit embarrassed.