Page 178 of Scarred

When she finally closes her eyes, I kiss the top of her head and untangle myself from her small body before tucking the covers around her.

“I love you, babygirl. All the way to the moon and stars,” I whisper.

“All the way to Luna and Mommy,” she says, sleepily. “Mommy sent us the moon.”

My whole body stills at her words.

A rush of warmth spreads through my body as I gaze at my daughter.

I’ve felt before that Jules would have picked someone like Luna for her daughter…for me, knowing I needed someone who could get past my barriers I had put up and still love and accept what they see.

Thunder rolls in the background as the patter of rain starts beating against the window. I walk over to the curtain and part it back as the wind thrashes the trees down below.

The sight of the storm brewing outside sends chills down my spine. Ever since that night I received that call, every storm leaves a frightening reminder of what can happen when Mother Nature gets out of hand.

Shutting the curtain, I turn on her nightlight, making sure the monitor is on in case the storm wakes her up, and head downstairs.

Mae is still in the kitchen finishing dinner when I walk in.

“I broke my promise,” I say, sinking onto the stool.

“What promise?” She asks, stirring the vegetable soup on the stove.

“I made a promise to Jules on the day she died that I would never forget her. That I would remember her every single day of my life until I take my last breath.”

Setting the spoon down, her eyes soften. “Oh, honey,” she sighs, walking over and sitting next to me. “You won’t ever forget her.”

“But I did,” I say, shaking my head.

We haven’t talked about yesterday. When I came home, I refused to say a single word. I knew if I started talking, I would break. I was ashamed to even face Mae. I had forgotten the day her granddaughter died. The one person who promised to always love her.

“Why didn’t you say something?” I ask, Mae, my heart breaking wide open. “I left that morning for practice with a smile on my face,” I choke out. “I was joking in the locker room seconds before Coach asked me what I was doing there.”

“You were happy, Cayden. For the first time, you weren’t wrapped up in grief or guilt on that day. It hurt me every year to see you blame yourself or feel guilty that you are the one who gets to watch Scarlett grow up.”

“How do you do it?” I ask, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “I don’t understand how you can look at me after I betrayed your granddaughter like that.”

“You didn’t betray her,” she smiles sadly. “You’re finally living again, and that’s exactly what Jules would want you to do.”

I stare out the window and see the storm getting worse. The loud crack of lightning seems to shake the building as the rain continues to rage against the glass.

Glancing at the monitor, I still see Scar sleeping through it all, oblivious to the chaos outside.

“She told me tonight that Mommy sent us the moon,” I say quietly.

“She did?” Mae asks, surprised, before a smile appears on her face.

“Yeah, she did,” I sigh, watching the lightning flash across the sky. “Is it really possible? Do you honestly believe that Jules had a hand in this…that she wouldn’t hate me for loving someone else?”

I say the words before I can stop them.

I know what I’ve been feeling.

But to say them out loud makes everything real.

What surprises me the most is how right it feels.

“Yes,” she laughs, wiping her eyes. “It’s not only possible, but it’s true.” She reaches in and hugs me, and my arms naturally wrap around her. “Jules would never hate you, Cayden, for finding love again. If anything, she would love you more.”