Page 177 of Scarred

“Where did those come from?” I glance at the flower bouquet sitting on the island as I walk in and drop my duffel bag on the floor.

Practice was brutal today, and I had forgotten I had interviews lined up about the prospect of winning the Vezina Trophy again this year.

I almost felt bad for the poor guy asking me questions. It’s not his fault the last twenty-four hours have been my own personal hell, and the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and pretend life is great.

All I want to do is spend time with my daughter before she goes to bed and pray I can actually sleep tonight without waking up in a sweat and reaching out for someone who isn’t there.

“Luna sent them to me. You would know if you would talk to her,” Mae quips, cutting up a potato with more force than necessary.

“We’re not talking about this again,” I warn in frustration.

Seeing the card next to the flowers, I read the note, and her familiar handwriting is like a punch to the gut.

Mae, I can’t imagine how hard yesterday was for you. I hope you have found some peace knowing you still have the best part of Jules with you every day in Scarlett. I thought these flowers might bring a smile to your face and remind you that even in loss, there is still beauty to be found.

P.S. If you could, please give Cayden a hug for me. I know he’s hurting right now, even though he won’t admit it. Maybe a hug will make him feel less alone.

Love, Luna

I set the card down and feel like I’ve just been sliced wide open.

Even when I push her away…even when I know my text from yesterday hurt her…

She still doesn’t give up on me…still puts her heart out there even when I don’t deserve it.

“You need to talk to her, Cayden,” Mae says quietly. “There’s been enough heartbreak in this house. Life’s too short not to smile every day.”

I stare at the card, my chest painfully beating against my rib cage. Not wanting to get into this while my daughter is still awake, I walk toward the living room where she’s watching TV.

“I’m going to read Scarlett a book before bed,” I say, hearing Mae sigh sadly behind me.

Putting all my focus on my daughter, I change her into her pj’s before combing her hair and helping her brush her teeth.

When she climbs into bed, I lie down beside her, my back propped up on her pink upholstered headboard.

“I want Luna to read tonight,” Scar says, stopping me in my tracks as I reach for her book.

My gaze lands on her nightstand, and I see the new picture that now sits next to the other one of Jules and me holding her as a newborn.

Reaching for it, I stare at the picture of the three of us at Scarlett’s birthday party. I’m holding Scar, and my other arm is wrapped around Luna. We’re all wearing big grins and look just like a happy family.

Luna surprised Scarlett by making her a photo album of all the pictures of her birthday party, and Scar insisted that we put this one by her bed.

I set the picture back and wrap my arm around my daughter as she snuggles against me, clutching Stormy to her chest. Her pink bracelet catches my eye on her little wrist. It was the one I bought the day we got ice cream with Luna. It was one of the gifts I gave her on her birthday, and she hasn’t taken it off since.

The moon and two stars…

“Luna’s not here tonight, Scar. Is it okay if Daddy reads to you tonight?”

She nods her head, and I pick up her ballerina book that I know every word by heart because it’s the one she always wants to hear.

“Luna gone?” She whispers in a small voice.

My chest feels tight like a rubber band about to break at any minute.

“No, babygirl,” I finally manage to get out, not even sure myself what the answer is. “She’s just at her place tonight.”

She seems to accept my answer, so I start reading, the words flowing automatically as my mind is somewhere else…with someone else.