Page 87 of Found in Wild Sage

“How? No, I—that can’t be right.”

Hands on his chest, I lean down and press my forehead to his. “This is what I can’t stand. Right here. I don’t accept this. You can’t tell me you’re not the kind of man I want, or that I didn’t know how I felt, let alone how I feel now.”

I lean back to get a read on him.

“It’s not that I…” He shakes his head, flustered and a little wild-eyed. I can’t blame him, considering I am literally pinning him down. “I’m a confident person in many areas of my life. But dating, romance, these haven’t been my forte. I’ve been on my own for so long. I’ve grown used to it, even if it’s not what I wanted.”

“How on earth did you delude yourself like that? You’re wonderful. You’re the best man I know, Dec, and for what it’s worth, I actually know some very good ones.”

Jack, Davis, Grant, Dr. Martinez, Kenny Carmichael, and now Finn and Connor. The aftermath of Trevor has led me to get to know so many good guys and has slowly and surely restored my faith in the opposite sex. But no one did that more than this man.

“My past relationship has had me particularly wary, and I recognize that you’re a different person than she was, and I’ve matured and grown since then. But I’ve not tried again since. I’m odd. In my head a lot. I’m particular, and a little rigid, and I’m not all that social. I don’t like dealing with feelings, so I focus on logic. I’m a neat freak and I⁠—”

I cover his mouth with my hand. “No more of that. I hear you saying you’ve convinced yourself these are all problems, and of course, you’re not perfect. I’m very much not, either. But that’s what life is, isn’t it? Two imperfect people choosing to be together and love each other?”

Just saying this out loud is a therapeutic breakthrough and gives me a flood of hope.

“I suppose it is.”

“I’ve lived with a man who was a problem. Who should be alone because he doesn’t respect other people and doesn’t know how to love. I’ve spent quite a while sorting through all of that thanks to my therapist and Jack, even Sam, and I’m sure there’s miles to go. One small positive that came from that man aside from Charlie is the knowledge that I do want something with someone and that I have a lot to offer.”

“Of course you do. You’re incredible. You’re⁠—”

I cover his mouth again, but I’m smiling and I can feel he is, too.

“See how you jumped to my defense? That’s how I feel about you.”

The moment stretches and I pull my hand away so I can see his face. His brows pinch and he shakes his head.

“I know you’re worried my feelings are mixed up with gratitude. I need you to understand I do feel grateful, but that’s not the same as feeling obligated. And long before I felt gratitude for your help with the custody stuff, I felt other things. Attraction. Affection. Curiosity. Being closer to you this last month or so has only made that more powerful.”

There’s so much hope in his expression, but he’s still guarded. So here’s the plan.

“Right now, I’m going to kiss you.” A smile flashes, but he sobers quickly when I keep talking. “Then we’re going to go get Charlie, and we’ll go to family dinner. And then we’re going to keep doing what we’ve been doing but with more talking,” I pause for dramatic effect and he nods his acknowledgement. “Next week, we’ll win that custody case, and then, we’ll see.”

And then, we’ll make love.

And then, we’ll do this for real.

And then, we’ll start forever.

CHAPTER FORTY

Declan

My BP hits a high right as the judge makes his decision. Evie clutches my hand and my entire family is sitting behind us, along with quite a few others.

“Full custody is hereby awarded to Evie Elizabeth Hansen.”

He continues with more details that blur and stretch in my mind, then dismisses us all and there’s a second of quiet before it hits everyone that this is over.

A cheer goes up, and there’s applause. Relief hits and I pull Evie into me. She’s already hugging me, burying her face in my neck and either laughing, or crying, or maybe both.

The family crowds around and I’m still holding Evie, so I don’t worry about keeping track of who is saying what until we separate and she swipes at her eyes, then turns to accept hugs from Sam, my mom, and May. Grant, who’s in uniform today, hauls me in for a hug, then Finn does the same.

Davis stands to the side, grinning. Eirinn is here, too, and as Finn squeezes me a bit too tight, I see her nod and offer her husband a stiff, “Good job.”

We’ve really got to get her alone and see what’s going on there.