Page 30 of Waking Roslyn

“You seem to have an easy enough time getting along with me,” John observed, pulling me from my melancholy thoughts.

I gave him a strained smile. I couldn’t explain that for me, such connections were rare, and that the way he’d helped me hide from Lord Farbury with such ease had unlocked something inside me. His face had been so different than the way people usually watched me. In Saldine, I’d been constantly sneered at and viewed as less-than. In Winhaven, most were polite but aloof, while others looked at me with suspicion, not understanding how someone they did not recognize had earned a place in the sovereign palace.

But John? He had looked at me with…curiosity? Kindness? Maybe even concern? And I hadn’t been able to resist reaching for that connection. I had so few connections, because they all felt unsafe. But John? John had felt safe.

When I didn’t give any further response, he cleared his throat. “Have you given any thought to what weapon you’d like to learn?” We reached the stream and he offered me a hand.

“Umm, no, I suppose I haven’t.” I stepped easily onto the opposite bank with his help, a little sad when I had to let go of his hand. The contact had been reassuring.

“My preference is the staff, but I’m also adept at knives and swords. If you want to learn archery, I’m afraid I won’t be much help.”

“Oh.” Suddenly I was overwhelmed. Did I want to learn how to fight with a weapon? “If I learn to fight with a weapon, wouldn’t that require that I always carry one with me?”

“If you wanted to be ready at all times, then yes.”

I chewed on my lip, thinking.

“Though, I suppose I should ask if you plan to attack or just defend yourself?”

“Just defend,” I said with certainty.

His brow scrunched in curiosity. “Why only defend?”

I shrugged. “I don’t actually want to hurt anyone.”

This time, his brow lifted and he blinked in surprise. “Do you actually want to learn to fight?” he asked.

It seemed a silly question. “Of course. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“No, I mean, do you think you’ll enjoy it?”

I didn’t respond, since I wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Or,” he continued, his face falling into serious thought, “are you wanting to learn out of necessity?”

I nodded. That sounded right. “I just want to be prepared in case…”

“In case?”

I gave a little shrug and looked away. “In case I need to defend myself.” I didn’t want to explain any more than that.

“Is there someone specific you have in mind?” He asked the question too carefully, and it made me worry that he was already guessing too much, especially since he knew I was avoiding Lord Farbury.

Of course the answer to his question was yes, but he didn’t need to know all the details, so I shook my head. “No, of course not. I just feel like preparing would be wise. I saw those girls fighting and thought it would be a comfort to know such things.” I tried to give a teasing smile. “You never know what sort of ruffians will be wandering the woods.”

He winced but smiled. “Ruffian, eh?”

I shrugged. “Am I wrong?”

He looked me over for a moment. Long enough that I started to feel warm. “I suppose I don’t mind being a ruffian.”

I let out a little laugh. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

He gestured toward a tree which had several wooden practice swords, knives, and staffs leaning against it. “Here we are.”

We were still in the forest, not far from the stream, which meant we weren’t close to the usual training grounds. He must have decided not to subject me to the scrutiny of the other servants as we trained, for which I was grateful.

He crossed and picked up a few of the wooden weapons. “Hmm.” He chewed on his lip. “Might I make a suggestion?”