Page 51 of Just for Tonight

The rain is starting again when we get into her SUV and the streets are even more deserted than they were before. The atmosphere between us is thick, and one more time, I cannot stand it.

“Tell me more about ice wine,” I invite but she scoffs.

“Why?”

“I’m curious.”

“I doubt that.” Her tone is mild, her attention fixed on the road.

We ride in silence, rain pattering on the roof and the windshield. When we pass The Carpe Diem Café, which is now closed, I ask the inescapable and dangerous question. “What’s wrong?”

Mackenzie shrugs. “Nothing. We both got what we wanted tonight.”

“Don’t tell me you have future expectations. Please.”

“Do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then we’re all good. You can continue to despise your dead father and his second family from a safe distance, and I can plant grapes for ice wine on the land you sold back to us. Life will go on for both of us, as if these two nights never even happened.”

I really hate that.

I despise that it’s irrational for me to hate that. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to come back to Empire ever, and I certainly don’t want a relationship with anybody from Empire. My future is crystal clear and my solitude is a given.

But as a result of the above, there is no Mackenzie in my future, and that bites the wall.

She takes the turn toward Candace’s house. “Have you considered that your father may have made them the way they are, just the way he influenced you into becoming the way you are?”

“What do you mean?” I’m prickly about this idea but don’t say more.

“I mean you’re self-sufficient and expect nothing from anyone. That has to be at least partly because your father didn’t give you much. But they’ve been given everything, from the day they were born until this week. It only makes sense that they feel entitled. They’ve always gotten everything they wanted, without working for it or even asking for it. How could you expect them to be otherwise?”

I have no answer for that.

“They’re not my favourite people in the world,” Mackenzie continues, easing to a halt outside the gates. “But I think they’ve had a tougher week than you have. Everything has changed for them. Essentially nothing has changed for you.” She gives me a look. “You might try being kind.”

People do not chastise me, not anymore.

Except maybe Mackenzie.

I study her, expecting her to be annoyed or stern, but she looks disappointed. That makes me feel like the biggest loser on the planet, and that, my friends, is not how I wanted this night to end.

“You’re right,” I say, because she is. “I’ll try.”

She almost smiles, a light dawning in her eyes that is an enormous relief. “Good.”

I study her but she keeps her gaze lowered. “You could call me when you’re in Toronto, you know.” She looks up, surprised. “Anytime. Devil you know and all that.”

Mackenzie smiles. “You know I won’t.”

Yes. I know she won’t. I am uncharacteristically conflicted about this. I don’t want to have no prospect of seeing Mackenzie again, but then, I never want to disappoint her, which would be inevitable. I don’t regret our time together and I hate that it’s over, even though I know this is how it has to be.

I guess this moment is what they call bittersweet.

On impulse, I lean across the console and kiss her cheek. Even I’m surprised by my move. “Take care of yourself, Mackenzie.” My voice is husky. I can’t help it. She got to me, in all the right ways.

“Don’t be too much of an asshole, Jake,” she replies, her voice light, and I smile.