Page 50 of Just for Tonight

“It’s just hard to believe you’d choose to be alone forever,” she says, something unreadable in her eyes.

“Why?” Self-sufficiency is a kind of strength.

“I thought no man was an island.”

“Maybe I’ll prove that expression wrong.”

“Maybe.” She finishes her glass of water, then glances at her watch. She grimaces, then gives me a steady glance. I instinctively brace myself, though I’m not sure why. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re too rough on them.”

“Who?” I ask but I know.

“Candace, Madison and Ethan.”

“You’re certainly entitled to your opinion.”

“But it changes nothing?” she asks.

“Why would it change anything?” I’m a little more belligerent than I should be and I know it, but before I can think how to apologize, she puts her glass in the sink and turns away.

That’s it. I’ve finally shut her out. Instead of being glad of my accomplishment, I feel like an ass.

“Early morning tomorrow,” she repeats, her tone so indifferent she could be answering the phone at a call centre. “If you want a ride back to Empire, you’ll need to get dressed.”

“Yes. Thanks.”

Mackenzie heads upstairs. I follow, halfway thinking she’d be glad to leave me behind. Lucky me – she’s too nice to leave me stranded.

See? Conversation after the big deed is never ever a good idea.

I grab my jeans and try to return us to a happier place, if only for the sake of parting well. “It’s a nice condo. Thanks for the recommendation and the discount code.” My efforts to make things better aren’t changing anything. “Will it work again?”

“Yes, it’s evergreen. We just like to offer a discount to our clients when they stay.”

“As opposed to strangers off the internet.”

She makes a face. “Who often lead to high clean-up costs. It’s amazing what some people do to rentals.” She gives me a look. “But then, you won’t be coming back anyway, so what difference does it make?” She sounds disinterested, which stings, but then, I keep telling her I won’t be back.

It’s only the truth.

Mackenzie heads into the bathroom, picking up her clothes on the way. The silence is deafening. I feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. The whole point is that this is a hook-up, so saying anything about seeing her again or in future is ridiculous. It’s amazing that we’ve been together twice.

Amazing is the sum of it.

I get dressed quickly, feeling at odds and uncertain how to fix it.

Interesting that only Mackenzie makes me feel this way. With Chelsea, I always knew the answers – but then, Chelsea and I were actually dating, which maybe makes the difference.

Or maybe it’s that Chelsea was a lot more transparent.

Predictable.

I’m not really sure what Mackenzie wants in the long term. She says her career is first, but is it really? I believed her, but now I wonder.

Maybe she was telling me what she thought I wanted to hear.

One thing is for sure: Mackenzie is faster in the bathroom than any woman I’ve ever known. She emerges in moments, already dressed and on the hunt for her shoes. I am disappointed to have missed another glimpse of her lingerie but am smart enough to keep that confession to myself.

She looks so composed that our interval might not have even happened. We could be strangers in a subway station. In fact, she glances at her watch again, as if I’m holding her up, and I pull on my boots and hoodie. She’s already in the foyer when I grab my wallet and keys, checking something on her phone. I feel dead to her and I hate it, even though I would have told you that’s exactly what I wanted.