Page 49 of A Newport Christmess

When it thudded into his chest, he gave an exaggerated grunt. “And you’re definitely stronger than you look.”

“Okay.” Laughter brimmed behind my voice. “I think we’re done now. But thanks for the ideas. They were very insightful.”

He chuckled at my lack of enthusiasm. “I have plenty more, if you need them.”

My attention drifted to the falling snow. “The truth is, I can’t help but wonder if ... well ...” What was I doing? Landon didn’t need to hear my deepest confession—one I’d only ever mentioned to Ashlee. And even that was done in a non-committal passing comment. My good sense must have gone out with the power. “Never mind.”

He dropped his feet and leaned forward, his elbows coming to rest on his knees. “What?”

“Really, it’s nothing.”

“Quinn, you can tell me. I just might understand.”

It was true. Of everyone I knew, Landon was the only one who’d experienced divorce after a whirlwind marriage. His scars, though well hidden, probably didn’t look too different from my own. “I just wonder if I wasn’t enough for Cody. You know ... in the ways a wife should be.” My whole body flooded with an uncomfortable heat at my admission. “I mean, well ... not like that. Not exactly. It’s just ... the girls he’s dated since our divorce seem to be the exact opposite of me in ... looks, I guess. Tall, endless legs ... well-endowed.” I groaned. This was not going how I’d intended it to. “You see, Cody posts to social media, where all of our friends and family see these gorgeous women he’s with. And if I wonder if I was lacking in ... certain ways, I’m guessing they also do.” I sighed. “And now, whenever I’m around anyone, it’s all I can think about—the calculations of my failings that must be going on in their heads.”

The room went unnervingly quiet, and I suddenly wished I hadn’t borne my soul to him. I had a tendency to take things too far. Admitted too much. And what did I expect him to say to that anyway? That it wasn’t true? That I was enough? I’d forced him into a position where he’d have to be disingenuous in his answer—if he answered at all. There was no way around it.

After a minute, he leaned back in his seat again. “Looks like we have another thing in common. After Eliza, I’ve constantly focused on my failings. On all the ways others believe I failed.”

Warmth poured into me at his simple admission, and I was instantly glad I’d trusted him. And though trust and vulnerability were dangerous ground for us, all things considered, it was still good to be understood. “I guess that’s why we make such a great pretend couple,” I said, showing Landon I remembered our boundaries perfectly. Okay, not perfectly, considering the unnerving feelings that consumed me every time he got close, but pretty solidly...ish. Solidlyish.

“I hope the power comes back on soon,” he said, pulling my attention back to him.

My heart plummeted. One minute, I thought we were bonding, and the next, he wanted to flee. Again.

“Because of the heater, I mean,” he clarified. “It’s getting chilly in here.”

“Oh.” Relief flooded over me, like I’d given Landon complete power over all my emotions. I glanced down at the blanket covering me and then back at him, debating whether I should offer to share. It was his blanket, after all. “This blanket is big enough for two people.” It was a compromise—not so much an invitation as it was stating a fact. Landon could make of that what he wanted.

“That’s okay. It’s not too cold yet.”

I shrugged, pretending his refusal to bundle up in a blanket with me had no effect. “Suit yourself. More heat for me.”

“Actually, it would mean more heat for both of us if we shared.”

“True. I remember hearing that if you’re trying to stave off hypothermia in someone, you’re supposed to strip down and use your body heat to keep them warm.”

He laughed. “I would have gone with penguins as an example, but that works, too.”

“Penguins?” For the millionth time tonight, my whole face blazed in embarrassment, and I wished I could somehow bottle up the heat emanating from me. It would probably be enough to keep me snuggly warm all night. Or longer. When would I learn to think through my comments before saying them? Obviously never. “That definitely is a more appropriate answer. And a lot more applicable, seeing that neither of us has hypothermia, and we’ll definitely be keeping our clothes on.” I barely prevented a groan at my continued stupidity. “I’m sorry if I put an unwanted image of undressed people in your mind. Other people, not us, of course.” My attempts to fix this conversation were futile. “You know what? I’m going to stop talking now.”

“Don’t stop on my account. I’m thoroughly entertained.”

If he could see the scowl on my face in the darkness, I was certain he’d regret his amused tone. Unfortunately, he couldn’t. “Just so you know, if you get hypothermia for refusing to share a blanket, that’s on you. Don’t expect me to come to your rescue.”

“I’d better not get hypothermia, then.” He stood up and started toward me, making me tense in anticipation. Was he really coming to sit by me? Because I was suddenly having serious doubts about this being a good idea. He stopped in front of me. “Or am I no longer invited to share your blanket?”

“You are on very thin ice.”

“Hypothetically, if that ice broke, would you then be willing to stave off my hypothermia?”

My jaw dropped, and I shook my head, trying to keep my laughter from betraying me. “That’s it. Your privileges of blanket sharing have officially been revoked.” And I meant it. I couldn’t be snuggling under a blanket with him if he was going to say flirty things that made me forget his feelings weren’t real.

His deep, chesty laughter echoed in the quiet room. “I guess I’ll just have to soak in any excess heat you give off by sitting next to you.” He dropped onto the cushion so close to me that my body sank toward him.

Quickly, I righted myself, then lifted up the blanket and tossed half of it over him.

He took hold of it and wrapped it over himself, leaving a small gap between our bodies to prevent us from touching. “See, there’s that forgiveness I mentioned earlier.”