Page 5 of Terms and Traditions

It’s my time to shine, boys. Fake dating. Defined as a dating relationship that is not real but faked for mutual benefits, but eventually both parties inevitably fall in love.

EMMETT

It’s horrifying you know that.

Also, why do we want to know this, Nash?

RYAN

Is there a girl?

ME

“Inevitably fall in love?” You make it sound like a communicable disease.

My point in asking is why someone would fake date.

RYAN

To avoid a harassing ex, for the drama, for family expectations, to make an ex jelly.

ME

Never use the word “jelly” again.

EMMETT

Seconded. We will disown you.

RYAN

How about well jel?

ME

Take a step back from the Jeeves and Wooster reruns or we will stage an intervention. Kelsi will be on our side.

RYAN

You have no taste. They never used that term on the show. And low blow to include my wife.

ME

Back to the matter at hand.

RYAN

Kelsi knows about this stuff better.

EMMETT

Nash. Why do you care? And why do we care for that matter?

RYAN

I repeat: IS THERE A GIRL, PRESCOTT? SPILL.

ME