Page 121 of Irresistibly Wicked

Kitty jumped onto the couch carrying the shirt they’d gotten her in Niagara Falls in her mouth, and climbed onto his lap.

“Hi, baby girl.” He took the shirt, hit with the memory of Shauna’s scowl when he suggested he get her one with Biker Daddy’s Ride or Die on it. “You missing her, too, or just feelin’ pretty?” he asked as he put the shirt on Kitty.

Kitty curled up in his lap and purred.

He was jealous that his cat could find comfort so easily when he was drowning in jealousy.

He rested his head back again and closed his eyes. The lock on the front door clicked, and his fucking heart jumped as the door eased open and Shauna stepped quietly inside. She closed the door carefully, and as she toed off her sneakers, he said, “Hey, Angel.”

She startled, her gaze sweeping toward him. She smiled, but even in the dimly lit room he could tell it was a tentative one. “You scared me,” she said, making her way over to him.

“I didn’t know if you were coming back tonight.”

“My uniform is here. Sorry to show up so late. I should have texted.”

“No, it’s fine. How’d it go?” He patted the cushion next to him.

“Great,” she said, sitting beside him, but she sounded tired. “I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I picked him up. I swear we hugged for ten minutes straight.”

“Is he glad to be home?”

“Yeah. It’s hard for him. There are a lot of tough memories. But we knew it would be. We talked a lot, and we went to two meetings. I told him you’d come by tomorrow and I’ll move my stuff in Monday after my shift ends. Our lease is over at the end of September, so once he’s settled with a sponsor and a job, we’re going to look around at apartments for a fresh start.”

He’d known this was coming. If he were honest with himself, he’d been bracing for it since the day they’d said I do. But knowing it and hearing her say it were two very different things. There was no bracing for the pain of the fault line ripping open inside him. He tried to convince himself it was relief. This was always the plan, after all. Now he could go back to his life without making extra coffee with too much creamer and packing breakfasts or rushing home to see her after work. He wouldn’t have to do twice as much laundry or clean up new toys every other week because Shauna insisted Kitty needed them.

Fuck. He was going to miss all of it.

Her eyes lingered on him, searching, as if she heard the crack he’d felt, but if she did, she didn’t acknowledge it. She simply petted Kitty’s head and said, “I got the wire transfer today from the attorney, but I’m really tired. Is it okay if I give you a check in the morning?” putting the nail in his coffin.

“I’m not worried about it. I’m heading out early tomorrow to get a ride in before going over to Brian’s.” It wasn’t true, but the thought of pretending through another morning was too much.

She gave a small, tired smile. Silence stretched between them, and she rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s been a day,” she said with a yawn. “Would you mind holding me? Just for a little while?”

The qualifier, just for a little while, burned.

“Sure” came out as ragged as he felt. “Let’s lie down.”

Shauna stood, and Kitty jumped down from the couch, ready to follow as she turned toward the bedroom, but Zander couldn’t take her into his bed without wanting to be as close as possible and love her with everything he had.

He reached for her hand, pulling her down to lie on the couch. Instead of spooning like he’d expected, she buried her face in his neck, her arm around him. She lifted her face only long enough to call Kitty. Kitty jumped up to the armrest, and as if she knew Zander needed her, too, she padded over and lay on him, her head resting on Shauna.

Zander closed his eyes, breathing Shauna in, memorizing the feel of her against him, the cadence of her warm breath on his neck, giving her the comfort she needed as his own heart shattered.

If this was the last time he’d get to hold her, he’d let it break him a thousand times over.

Chapter Forty

SHAUNA AWOKE IN a fog, registering the warmth of Kitty curled against her stomach and the scent of Zander beneath her cheek. She forced her eyes open, squinting against the sting of too little sleep. She expected the familiar smell of coffee to greet her, the sight of Zander standing outside the patio doors, but that brief blissful bubble popped when she remembered he’d gone riding. She vaguely recalled feeling him brush a kiss to her forehead when he’d gotten up, but she and Brian had talked for hours last night. He’d told her about rehab, and she’d told him about her life, including how Zander had found her bracelet. They’d run the gamut of emotions, and by the time she’d gotten to Zander’s, she’d been bone-tired and hadn’t been able to muster the energy to wake up and say goodbye this morning.

She gave Kitty some love and sat up, her attention drawn to the photos on the mantel. She’d never forget the day Zander had come home with the frame for the picture of her and Brian, or when she’d come from a grueling shift to find that picture, along with one from her and Zander’s honeymoon, up there on the mantel with his family photos. She knew they were contractually bound, but they didn’t feel like just an obligation. Or at least they hadn’t, until they’d acknowledged the end of their relationship yesterday morning, and then confirmed last night that she was going to be moving out.

Could she have romanticized her feelings?

She was too grounded for that, wasn’t she?

She got up to take a closer look and took the photo of them down from the mantel to study it. There was joy in Zander’s piercing blue eyes. He couldn’t fake that, could he? She thought about the day he’d dropped to his knees and presented her with that outrageously beautiful ring. What do you say, Shauna? Will you marry me and show the world we’re not just great looking, but we’re also the best damn actors around?

Fucking actors.