Page 47 of Vow of Hate

She can’t be my weakness. She can’t be. She can’t be.

But I can’t make myself let her go and I can’t make myself kill her and I can’t make myself marry her and give Gabriel what he wants. So what the fuck is there left for me to do?

Keep her but put some distance between us. The only time I truly touched her was when I put my mouth on her and I’m dying to do it again. But the second I let myself touch her, I’m going to lose myself in Sienna.

I need to find another woman to fuck. Someone to distract me from her because otherwise, I am going to truly lose myself. The man who delights in causing chaos. He is not the kind of man who is supposed to care about people.

So why did I give Sienna those clothes?

Fuck it. I don’t know. I just did.

My day goes normal. I intimidate pathetic men into giving me money. I collect said money. I go for a drink at a bar after my work is done.

Not every day can be a chaotic, wild one. Some days, you need the balance of a boring day to appreciate the crazy ones.

And I’m hoping that the more boring my day is, the less I’ll think of Sienna. She said that I’ll get bored of her but I can handle boring. I can handle anything.

I sip my drink at some high end bar. I can’t even remember the name of it. I just let myself go wherever I want it to go and today, it’s an expensive bar with expensive drinks in the heart of the city thirty minutes away from my home. Thirty minutes away from Sienna.

A woman sits down next to me. Blonde hair, just like Sienna. Fair skin, just like Sienna. Petite, just like Sienna. A little bit older than Sienna but not by much.

“Hi,” she says, flashing her eyelashes at me. I would have brought a woman like her home with me in a heartbeat. Hell, we’d be fucking in less than an hour in my sex room.

But my cock doesn’t stir at the thought of fucking this woman. All I can think about is Sienna’s perfect, pretty face. Fuck.

“What are you having?” she asks.

“Whisky.” I finish the drink and set the glass down with a thud.

“Care to share one with me?”

Normally, I’d say yes. A part of me wants to say yes. A part of me needs to say yes. Because if I let myself fuck this woman, I’ll be able to forget about Sienna and all the weird, strange things she’s making me feel.

I should bring this woman home with me. Show Sienna she means nothing to me and is not my weakness.

“Yes,” I finally answer. “I’ll share one with you.” I have decided everything. Sienna means nothing to me. I will not let her make me unhinged, even though unhinged is what I love to be.

But I only like being unhinged on my own terms. Not on anyone else’s.

I order another whisky and one for the woman. “What’s your name?”

“Anna.”

“Hi Anna.” I am going to have some fun.

Sienna

With nothing to do, I decide to explore Dante’s house. That’s when I discover his library. I used to write stories all the time that my father would read. He would laugh even when things weren’t that funny but I always appreciated it. He showed his love for me in so many different ways.

Can I ever have love like my parents did? Not with Dante. I know that for a fact.

I get lost in a book for hours. It helps clear my head. Helps me to not think about my mom and worry. It helps me to not feel the ache between my legs. It helps me to forget about the clothes Dante bought for me.

I don’t even notice the time passing until I hear the front door open. And then I hear laughter. Dante’s laughter.

And a woman’s.

With a frown, I shut the book and enter the foyer to see Dante and a blonde woman clinging onto his arm. They’re laughing together.