Page 19 of Bruised Hearts

“I hope so.” Landon looked at me shocked, but I smiled and kept walking. I know he wasn’t expecting for me to say that, but I wasn’t about to offer him anything more.

“Hey, Landon.” Looking over towards the door, a man was standing there with a half toothless smile on his face. He looked as if life had taken his ass through there, but his expression bore hope. I didn’t have to look at Landon to know if he knew the man. His body had gone stiff next to me, and I could feel heat radiating off him. Turning towards him, I waited to see if he would say who this was, but he stood there in shock.

“Landon, who is that?” No response. He just stood there almost as if he was scared. I grabbed his hand, and his fingers just hung loosely as if he couldn’t feel me. I looked at Titan, who was also on alert. His hand was on his gun, but he made no moves forward. He watched Landon to see what his response would be.

“I’ve been watching your fights. You’re really good. That boy Dangerous don’t have shit on you. I know you’re going to beat his ass. I would really like to be there.” I could feel Landon shaking, so when the man took a step closer, I let his hand go and moved in front of him.

“I don’t know who you are, but you need to leave. Breaker is in training, and needs to focus right now.” The man didn’t even look at me; he kept stretching his neck trying to look around me to Landon.

“I’m not here to cause trouble. I just want to talk.” The man smiled again, but this time, it made my skin crawl.

“Titan, take him inside.” I could feel that his body was no longer behind me, and then I saw Titan damn near carrying him in. I was confused on why he never intervened, especially since that was his job. Later on, we would have to talk about that, but right now, we had to deal with the matter at hand. Once I saw they were completely inside, I finally faced the man in front of me.

“I don’t know who you are, but you need to leave.” He gave me a sinister look before smiling again.

“Little lady, I think this doesn’t concern you. As I said before, I just came to talk. Give him a minute, I promise he will be back.” His vibe was creeping me out, and even though I don’t know who he is, I was sure of one thing. He didn’t mean Landon any good.

“He concerns me. So much so, if you don’t get your funky, psycho bum looking ass on, you gone lose the rest of them rotten ass teeth in your mouth. Please mistake me for weak, so I can beat your ass back to the tent you crawled out of.” Throwing his hands up in surrender, he walked off still wearing that creepy ass smile. Walking inside the gym, I looked around, but I didn’t see Landon. After searching for a few minutes, I blew out an exasperated breath and headed towards the door. As I was about to exit, I noticed Titan guarding the men’s locker room. I knew that’s where he had to be and walked towards him. I didn’t have to ask him any questions; I just walked inside.

At first, I didn’t see him in there either. A movement near the lockers caught my attention causing me to turn. There he was. Balled up in the corner, shaking. I couldn’t tell if it was from fear, tears, or both. Walking over, I sat down beside him and placed my hand on his arm.

“Landon, who was that?” Silence. After about five minutes, I realized he wasn’t going to answer me, so I didn’t push. His body began to shake harder, and now I was fighting back my own tears. I had no idea what he was going through, but I knew pain. So, in that way, I could relate, but I couldn’t break. Not now. Not when he needed me. Holding him tight, I let him get it all out. Once I realized he wasn’t calming, panic began to set in, and my chest tightened. “What do you need from me?” Silence. “Landon, please. Tell me what I can do to help you.” I thought he wasn’t going to answer, until I heard a faint whisper.

“Get Devin.”

13- Landon “Breaker” Mercer

The moment I heard his voice, I froze. At first, I thought I was tweaking. There was no way this nigga was standing there outside the gym. It was so many things my mind was telling me to do, but nothing happened. I couldn’t move or speak. My ass couldn’t do shit but stand there listening to him talk. It’s like I was having an out of body experience. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since I was a shorty, but that shit was embedded in my head.

I should have known it wasn’t a damn thing this jit could do with me, but for some reason, it didn’t feel like that on today. I was grown as fuck, standing six feet three inches, and trained to beat niggas heads in for a living. Even though he looked as if life had already tagged his ass for me, I was still shook without knowing why. I was so out of it, I have no idea how I even got inside the gym. I couldn’t feel my legs work, but somehow, Titan got me inside.

The only thing my mind could process was that I needed to get somewhere he couldn’t see me. Looking around, I tried to find somewhere I could hide. My chest was killing me and every breath I tried to take felt as if it stopped halfway. Sliding down the wall, I pulled my knees up to my chest trying my best to make myself smaller. That’s how I knew I was fucked up. I hadn’t done this since I was a kid, but here I was right back to that moment. I closed my eyes, but that shit only made it worse.

GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!

My eyes popped open as I frantically looked around the room. I knew he wasn’t here, but I could hear him as if he was. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking, so I balled them into fists. That shit didn’t help, so I tucked them under my knees. Fuck! I hate that this nigga could still do this to me. After all these years, and all the shit I accomplished. The fights, belts, praises, and achievements. All the people that looked up to Breaker, and felt like that nigga was indestructible. None of that mattered in this moment because all that nigga had to do was show up and call my name. That mufucka unraveled me in seconds.

“Landon. Who was that?” I jumped until I realized it was Ariyah. I heard her, but I couldn’t answer. I tried, but my mouth refused to release his name. I wanted to tell her I was good, but I wasn’t. A nigga was fucked up and all I could do was shake, and cry. That’s what was pissing me off the most. I hadn’t cried like this in years. Probably because I made sure I would never feel like this again. That was the reason I built Breaker. He was my armor against anyone and everything. Breaker didn’t cry. He got mad, hit hard, and broke shit. Landon, that nigga was-… Fuckkk!!!

I closed my eyes again. This time, I squeezed so hard, them mufuckas damn near felt stuck. I didn’t want to be him. I worked too hard, so that I wouldn’t. The lil ass apartment from the projects came into view. My body shook as I heard the screams, shit hitting walls, and my mama screaming. My breathing slowed as I tried not to make a sound. I know I have to be quiet, so he couldn’t find me. My breathing got worse, so I forced myself to open my eyes.

I was at the gym, yet I still couldn’t bring myself to exhale. I looked down at my body, and I could clearly see I wasn’t that lil boy trapped in a closet. Nor did I have bruise covered arms, and legs. He couldn’t hurt me anymore, yet I was still shaking and crying. Ariyah was squeezing the shit out of me, and that told me she was scared. Knowing that fucked me up, and that made me want to try harder to pull myself together. However, the harder I tried, the worse it got.

“Landon, please. Tell me what I can do to help you.” Shit, I didn’t know. How the fuck was I supposed to answer something like that? I wanted to be strong enough to face him. Hell, I wanted to know how he found me, and why the fuck he was here. What I wanted most was to go back about twenty minutes and never have gotten out the damn car. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted…

“Get Devin.” I could feel her reach in my pocket and grab my phone. I had no idea how long she was gone because time seemed to be nonexistent right now. I continued to rock on the floor trying to steady my breathing. I heard the door open and close. Footsteps. I knew he was here without having to look up. I felt Ariyah’s arms go back around me, so I knew she had sat down again.

“Son, I’m here.” He didn’t need to announce it because my breathing slowly began to calm. “What brought this on?” In the beginning years, I had plenty of episodes. Pops always brought me out of them, so this wasn’t new to him. However, it’s been years, so I could understand his question, I just couldn’t bring myself to answer him.

“It was a man outside waiting for him,” Ariyah responded once she saw that I wasn’t.

“He’s here?” Finally, I looked up. The look on pop’s face told me he knew the answer.

“Who?” Ariyah was confused.

“Where the fuck is he? I’ll kill that nigga.” The anger in his face was so evident, Ariyah jumped up when he turned to leave.

“Pops. Don’t.” It was the first words I’ve been able to speak since I heard his voice. His jawline tightened, so I tried to plead with my eyes.