Page 50 of Can you take it?

“Am I wrong?” she said.

“No, you’re not wrong,” I snapped. “You’re not wrong at all. Out of all the people, why is it that you can understand how

I might be feeling? Why is it that you ask questions that no one else asks? Why?” I asked, moving closer to her.

She shrugged. “Beats me, because I’m not asking anything absurd. You should be asking yourself why you have people in your life who don’t ask those questions, or maybe you present yourself as the happy, helpful, reliable guy so no one knows you are a real person with real emotions and vulnerabilities. You use it as a shield. No one is happy all the time, Seelie or not. What a boring life it would be if we never reevaluated what we wanted and grew or faced challenges. What a sad existence it would be to never let anyone see the real you.”

I glared at her, both angry and upset by how easily she read things about me that I myself wasn’t even sure how to explain. I felt cheated that she understood these layers so easily when I myself didn’t.

“We wear a different kind of mask in Tartarus. Once you’ve died, everything gets stripped away. It no longer matters what might happen in the future, because the future ceased to exist as soon as you died. You don’t know if you’re really the hero type anymore, because what does it matter now that you’re dead in Tartarus? Right? Who are you going to save? No one here needs any type of saving that you can offer. If you ask me, I think Tartarus is the perfect place for you to be a little selfish.” “I’m plenty selfish…” I mumbled. I pulled off my heavy armor and stretched out in the sun. The warmth penetrat- ing through the fabric of my pants and undershirt felt like a daydream after having gone as long as I had without it. “And you’re wrong; Tartarus is the worst place for me. How could I ever stay in a place where there was no sun? It’s no wonder everyone down here is in a foul mood all the time. They probably all have a vitamin D deficiency.” I grinned.

“Should we go back and check on the two lovebirds?” she asked with a matching grin.

“Let them have some time after what they just went through. Besides, it’s incredible here. Bexley had the right idea, let’s look around.” Feeling happy with the sun on my face, I stood up with more gusto than I’d had since dying. I scooped up a couple flowers on my hop and skip over to Anna and reached out my hand to help her up.

Her blue eyes seemed brighter in the sunlight. I was able to see all the parts of her face that had been shadowed before. She still wore her armor and something about seeing her delicate face full of feminine beauty against the harsh black metal was mesmerizing. My eyes caught on her bottom lip and the way a small dent between her bottom lip and chin seemed to call for my touch, but no—I wouldn’t touch her. Though to my astonishment, she seemed equally distracted by something on my face. A dormant beast inside me hoped she was looking at my lips too.

“On second thought, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check on the others,” I muttered before stepping away. What the fuck was I doing?

“It’s this way,” she said with a small laugh, calling out to me as she walked in the opposite direction.

We continued walking out of the field of flowers and into the beautiful forest, and even though I knew we were there for a reason and that this was a test, it was hard to think of anything but the beauty that surrounded me. Several times, I wondered if this was replicated from a Seelie forest, but somehow, it seemed even more beautiful if that was possible.

I watched in awe as bluebirds and small orioles flew in circles around Anna as we walked. She chuckled, and again, I was struck by the thought that this smiling, happy girl had been raised in the realm of sin.

A robin sang loudly on the ground in front of us and hopped to stand before Anna. My eyes darted between the two of them, and for a moment, everything in me tensed, worried she might hurt the bird. My foot itched to shoo it away, but I waited to see what would happen.

The bird fluttered away as another small bluebird swooped down, landing on her arm. I let out the breath I had been holding and took the opportunity to look around, wondering if any other animals might be watching her. I wondered if she even noticed. A quick glance around the forest revealed owls with big round eyes, twitching squirrels, rabbits—everything watching her.

I didn’t blame them one bit. “Don’t you think?” she said.

I blinked, realizing I hadn’t heard a word she’d said. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I was distracted by the scenery. It’s just so incredible.”

She stopped, and the bird on her arm flew off into the trees, chirping happily. “Yes, all you Seelie seem to thoroughly enjoy the happy forest life. I think in another life, I would have loved it too,” she said thoughtfully.

“Do you not love it?” I asked, truly wondering how anyone could be in this incredible natural atmosphere and feel anything but happiness or the desire to stay.

“Meh,” she said, starting to undo her armor. “I think it’s too hot for me. I’m too used to Tartarus,” she laughed. “Though I will say it is really nice here, and I do enjoy being around the animals. Most of the animals in Tartarus are…different.”

“Like your pet lyndwurm dragon?” I laughed. I was unable to take my eyes off her as her delicate fingers slowly pushed the heavy black metal from her body, revealing a type of underclothing I had seen Cal wear before. It was thin and tight and hugged every soft curve of her body.

“Oh, that’s better,” she said, dragging the armor to her side. “My armor!” I laughed, realizing I had dropped it a ways back. I turned to go retrieve it.

She shrugged and dropped hers as well. “We probably don’t really need it anymore,” she said with a big grin while she extended her hand in a dramatic gesture.

I stood there, reluctant to take her hand, though not for the reason she probably thought.

“Go on then. I won’t hurt you,” she said softly.

Eagerly, I stepped forward and covered her small hand in mine.

Her eyes turned serious. It was like sparks had fired from where our skin connected. “How?” she asked, almost to herself.

“How what?” I whispered, still holding her hand.

“How could you two be related—you and your mother? Even in your most wicked state, when you had the Tartarus itch, you remained good and wholesome.” Her brows came together. The look on her face was too much for me. It felt like she was scouring my soul. It was uncomfortable, and it made me drop my hand from hers immediately.

“She wasn’t always bad,” I said slightly defensively. “That’s not what I hear,” she said gently.