Page 86 of Tell Me Something

I bit my lip and tried to explain. “I would never take my life, not even when I was in the darkest place. Please don’t feel guilty. You didn’t sign on for the burden of providing my happiness when you met me, and you can’t be my rock; no one can. I have to learn to be my own rock.”

“That’s crap, Haylee. I can be your rock when you need it.”

“Rocks are permanent. Even if you think that your parents or your spouse are your rock, they leave you and you find out that they can’t be that any longer. I guess what I’m saying is nothing is permanent. Relying on other people for your happiness or to lift you up ends up disappointing you in the end.”

“That’s depressing,” he sighed.

Yeah, it kind of was. “I’m sorry I lied, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you feeling guilty, and here you are feeling it anyhow. I’m sorry you had to come up here and ruin your holiday plans. Plus, this wasn’t the way I wanted to see your apartment.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. I was calling Maria so that I could go out to California to see you. I missed you, and then I started feeling terrible about the way we left things.”

I put a finger to his lips. “No more guilt or feeling sorry for me, please. I’m not that fragile. I can stand you being angry or pissed off at me, but I can’t stand the thought of you feeling sorry or guilty, okay?”

He smiled and his hand drifted across my cheek. “How do you feel?”

“A little bit sleepy. I could probably crash another couple hours.” I yawned as if on cue.

“Well, we have plans, but you can sleep soon. I need you to shower and dress comfortably. Just pack your passport and whatever toiletry stuff you’ll need over the next few days.”

“What do you mean? Are we flying to California?”

“Not unless you want to. I had another surprise in mind.”

“All right, but for the record this isn’t a feel sorry for me trip, is it?”

He laughed. “Uh, no, it’s an I want some alone time with my girlfriend type trip, okay?” He kissed my forehead, and it made me smile like a loon. “You’re welcome to use my bathroom. There’s a steam shower that might feel good.”

“Thanks, but I’ll get back to my place where my stuff is. I also don’t want this to be the circumstance in which I see your place.”

He seemed to understand and took my arm, helping me out of bed and to walk unsteadily through his bedroom door.

“What are you doing?” he asked, looking at me as I covered my eyes.

“I don’t want to see it yet,” I giggled and was unceremoniously tossed over his shoulder.

“Well, if I’m leading the blind, it’s easier to simply carry you.”

He took me out his front door and into the hallway while I sneaked a peek. His place was spacious and very gray and chrome with the windows floor-to-ceiling on the far wall. Closing my eyes again, I hoped there would be another opportunity to see it.

“OKAY, WHAT DO I PACK?” I questioned, fresh from the shower and in a sweatshirt and the yoga pants he loved.

“Just your bath stuff.”

I stood with my hands on my hips. “Am I going to be naked the whole time?”

“Most of the time,” he retorted.

I went and put my arms around him and breathed in his scent. “We could start with a little preview.” My hands made their way down to his glorious ass which was wonderfully set off in jeans.

But his hands came around, taking both of mine and holding them in front of me. “As much as it pains me to turn that offer down, we have a plane to catch. Now throw some shampoo and a toothbrush in a bag, and let’s go.”

“I need underwear,” I chided, crossing to the drawer.

He moved to block my way. “Nope, you won’t need it.”

“How about a swimsuit? Or a dress or something?”

“Nope.”