Page 104 of Secrets on Ice

For a second, I let myself imagine it. I stepped into his space and kissed him. He pulled me into his arms and deepened the kiss.

“What the fuck?” a deep voice called out.

Sully and I pulled apart quickly, and when I turned around, I saw Cassidy and Trevor standing there in shock. He turned around and walked out the door.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between the two of you, but I never want to see it happen again.” Cassidy stormed out, leaving me standing there, heart pounding, guilt crashing over me like a wave.

I looked at Sully, his face pale, eyes full of pain.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t. I love Kevin.”

He closed his eyes and turned away from me, defeated. After that moment, it was never spoken about again.

Stupidly, I chose Kevin.

I blink back to the present, looking up at Sully in the dim light of his room. He’s watching me, thumb stroking my cheek.

“I’m sorry I hurt you back then,” I whisper. “I was young, scared, and stupid. I thought Kevin was the safe choice. I didn’t realize how much I was giving up.”

He leans down and kisses me softly, almost tenderly. “What ifs can’t change the past,” he says sadly.

“I don’t want to hurt you again,” I confess.

“I’m a big boy, Ember.”

His voice is soft as he leans down and kisses me again, slow and gentle. When he pulls back, his thumb strokes my cheek, eyes searching mine.

“I’m okay with being just friends with benefits. There are no expectations, no strings attached to what we are doing. Just us, enjoying each other for however long that is.”

I nod, relief and guilt swirling in my stomach. “Thank you. I just … I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You mean too much to me.”

“You won’t,” he promises, pulling me back into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere, Em. I’m here for whatever you need.”

We lie there in silence for a while, his fingers tracing patterns on my back again. I can feel the steady beat of his heart under my cheek, strong and reassuring. It would be so easy to fall for him. To let myself believe in the “what ifs.”

But I can’t.

I’m not ready.

And I don’t know if I ever will be.

I'm halfway through fixing my lipstick when my phone buzzes.

Cassidy: Don't kill me.

That's never a good start.

Cassidy: Nelly and I got carried away with the apartment.

Ember: Liar.

Cassidy: Okay, we got carried away with each other.

I snort. The typing bubble appears again.

Cassidy: Um, so my beautiful bestie ….

Ember: You’re not canceling on dinner tonight.