Page 103 of Secrets on Ice

“You want to be my New York restaurant guide now?” I tease.

“Yeah, training camp is coming up so I need to eat all the bad stuff as soon as I can, because once the season starts, it’s back to boring chicken and rice.” He groans.

“That sounds great. I should be exploring more than I have, but I’ve been so caught up with the business that I don’t have the energy to go out at the end of the day. Also, there’s this guy who likes to keep me up all night.” I smile.

“He sounds like a great guy, very giving, especially with his tongue.” He smirks darkly.

“Especially with his tongue and his fingers.”

“You got to stop talking dirty to me, Em, my dick is ready to go again.”

I love his stamina, it makes sense, he is a professional athlete. I’m ready to go again as I roll him onto his back but hover just above him.

“We’re on the same page, aren’t we?” I ask him.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“What’s going on between us. It’s casual, right?”

“Right.” He nods.

“And um, you’re not like tied to me in any way, shape, or form, so if you want to date other people, I’m okay with that,” I tell him.

His brows rise high. “Okay,” he answers hesitantly.

“I mean it. I don’t want you to stop being single just because I’ve been sneaking into your room. You don’t owe me anything,” I tell him.

“Other than orgasms?”

My brows pull together. “You don’t owe me them either, but they are great. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re one of my closest friends, and thanks to you and your magic appendages, you have changed me for the better. I don’t know if I’ve told you in so many ways, but thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“See, but you have. I didn’t realize how badly Kevin had been treating me over the years and how much I had changed to fit him. How much I had lost myself in that marriage. And being with you reminded me of who I once was.”

The words hang between us. Sully is quiet for a long moment, his fingers still tracing lazy patterns on my back, but I can feel the shift in his body as he processes everything I just said.

“You’re saying all of this is helping you heal?” he asks softly.

I nod, resting my chin on his chest so I can look at him. “Yes, it’s more than just the sex. It’s the way you make me feel safe, you listen, you make me laugh even when I’m in my head. I feel like I’m finally becoming me again. The me I lost somewhere along the way with Kevin.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad, really. That’s all I want for you, Em, is to be happy.”

“You’ve always been so good to me. Imagine how different life would have been if I had chosen you.”

The words slip out before I can stop them.

Sully stills.

The memory hits me hard, pulling me back to that night when everything changed. I was eighteen, Cassidy’s parents were away again, and we were having another sleepover in the basement. I had just had another massive fight with Kevin, and we had broken up again. Sully had come home late from hockey practice. He found me in the kitchen, crying while I waited for Cass to get home from work. I told him everything, all the stupid fights, that Kevin was super jealous when I hung out with him. He constantly accused me of cheating on him with Sully. That he was the reason I had drifted away from group catch-ups. And he listened like he always did, no judgment, no curse words about Kevin even though I knew he was thinking them. Then he said the words that changed everything.

“I love you, Em. I have loved you for years,” he declared.

I gasped.

“Fuck Kevin. Choose me. I just … I want to be the one who gets to love you the way you deserve.”

I was stunned, I had no idea he felt that way. Connor Sullivan, the star hockey player, the one all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Me.