Page 48 of Break My Heart

That doesn’t make him a bad person for life.

After all, we’ve all said and done things to people we care about that we regret.

My lips roll inward because I want to find a flaw in her argument. I want to point out the specifics, the way the words landed and reshaped something in me that I’m still trying to recalibrate.

But with the way she phrased it, I can’t, because Aio’s not wrong.

Aio:

Sometimes people don’t realize the damage they’ve caused until after it’s over.

Trust me, I understand that.

I think back to Leo showing up last night. To the quiet steadiness of him and the way he’s been ever since I arrived.

Me:

I’m terrified that if I let him back in, it will happen all over again.

Aio:

Then, when you’re ready, tell him that.

Second chances aren’t about pretending something bad didn’t happen.

They’re about making a conscious decision if what you want now is worth the risk.

Her words surround me with new things to think about.

Me:

And if it goes wrong again?

Her response is both pragmatic and supportive.

Aio:

Then you’ll deal with it the same way you deal with everything else.

You’ll survive it.

And you’ll thrive again.

We’ll be right by your side, at your back. Wherever you need us.

Just as I internalize the feeling Aio’s words cause, she hits me with another truth I needed to hear.

Aio:

Don’t punish him for who he was if he’s no longer that person.

In the end, you’d just be hurting yourself.

My chest tightens because I’ve been doing that. Holding onto the worst version of him even as he’s been showing me something different. That his remorse is—if not genuine—then at least more honest than I expected.

If you never forgive him, then you don’t risk losing him again, the devil in my ear whispers. And that’s how I’ve been acting toward Leo. I can’t even blame professionalism; it was just safer for my heart to believe that.

And that’s not fair to either of us.