Page 171 of Twisted Needs

Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.

My chest cinches. I understand exactly why Luca is asking, and I understand exactly why Anders can’t bear hearing it. He’s looking backward through ten years of memories and trying to figure out whether he failed the person he loves most. The problem is Anders can’t hear that. All he hears is someone questioning us…the thing he’s fought so hard to protect.

“Andy. Mano.” The anger leaves Luca all at once. “I wasn’t trying to do that.”

“Then what are you trying to do?” His voice breaks completely.

Luca closes his eyes. For a second he looks like he might cry too. “I’m trying to figure out if I failed you.” Everything stops. “Because if something was wrong,” Luca says quietly, “if something happened and I didn’t see it…” His voice catches, choked up in tears. “If you needed me and I missed it…I don’t know how I’d live with that.”

Anders stares at him. The anger drains away, and what’s left behind looks raw. Like an open wound. For a second I think they’re finally getting somewhere. Anders wipes at his face again, like he’s angry at himself for crying. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Mano—”

“I can’t.”

“Anderson, please.”

“I can’t, Luca.” He turns quickly and starts walking back up to the house, trying very hard not to run.

And that’s when he sees me. The second his eyes land on mine, something in his expression crumbles. I don’t move, or dare to reach for him even though it kills me not to. I barely breathe, because this isn’t my conversation. It never was.

Anders just stands there for a second and looks at me, completely wrecked.

Then he makes a small, broken sound. It’s barely audible, but I think I could still hear it from the other side of the world. He starts walking straight towards me, every step comes faster than the last. By the time he reaches the path, he’s practically stumbling.

My heart lurches. “Hey.” The word barely leaves my mouth.

Anders crashes into me. His arms wrap around my waist so hard I nearly lose my balance. I catch him automatically…one arm around his shoulders, and the other sliding into his curls. The second I touch him, he breaks. His face disappears, tucked beneath my chin while his entire body shakes. Months of fear and hiding—waiting for this exact conversation. All of it finally gives out at once.

“Sweetheart,” I murmur, tightening my hold on him. “Hey, I’ve got you.”

He shakes his head against my shirt. I can feel tears soaking through the fabric. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m so sorry, Pet’ka.”

My chest aches. “For what, baby?”

“I don’t know.” The answer comes out strangled. “I don’t know.”

Behind him, Luca hasn’t moved. He’s still standing on the dock, but his eyes are stuck on us. And somehow that’s worse, because the thing Luca has been terrified of all day is standing right in front of him. The fact that when Anders is hurting, his first instinct isn’t to go to his brother. It’s to come to me. And neither of us did anything to make it happen. He chose it all on his own.

I lift my eyes. Luca’s gaze meets mine across the distance. The hurt there is unmistakable. I flash him an apologetic look, but it’s useless at this point. Luca looks back at me in a way he’s never done before, derisive and full of hatred.

This is what I used to worry about…having to choose. At this moment, it feels like I’ve already chosen. I may have lost a brother, but I’ll be damned if I let Anders lose his.

CHAPTER 49

YOU LOVE ME

ANDERS

The sliding door slams shut as Emelie slips outside with her finger pointed menacingly at Parker. “What did I tell you?”

“Em—”

She storms up to us. “You make him cry and you’re dead.”

“He didn’t make me cry,” I mutter in a rough voice. I don’t dare let go of Parker, though. I hold onto him like he’s the only thing tethering me to the ground.

My fingers bunch in the back of his shirt as I turn my head toward her. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”