Page 80 of Anomalies

White hot rage fills my bloodstream—burning and boiling over until I see red. A deep crimson that rocks me to my very core.

“Fuck is a pretty good place to start,” I grit out, and Callan stiffens.

“Lucina…” He carefully thinks through his next words. “I-I’m so sorry⁠—”

“Why?” I ask, and my eyes begin to burn. Anger, I can deal with; anger is familiar. But fury…fury is a whole other beast, and she comes with tears. Lots of them. I can’t believe I let this happen. “They’re my family, Callan.”

Something in his face cracks the minute my voice does. “I know, I know,” he breathes, rushing into the room, but I step back. Far back. “Lucina, I’m so sorry⁠—”

“You have thirty seconds to explain yourself.” My voice is unnervingly calm, but nothing inside me is. Magic sullies my veins, matching my fury with its own sort of chaos, and I swear the sunlight dims behind me.

His hand shoots through his hair when he realizes just how serious I am. “Lucina, I—I didn’t have the time⁠—”

“Bullshit,” I hiss. “You had more than enough time. Now you have twenty seconds.”

He puts his hands out as if that’s going to stop his clock. It won’t. “Just let me explain, please⁠—”

“Fifteen seconds,” I warn, the paper crinkling in my hand, and the gauze over my palms heating, raw power burning through the flimsy material.

Callan keeps his eyes fixed on me. I know he sees nothing of who I was last night—so foolishly admitting that I could see myself trusting him. Look where that got me. “I’ve had a lot on my plate, and I guess I…fuck,” he stammers, moving forward but freezes when I flinch. “Lucina,” his voice breaks⁠—

I hold back tears. “Ten seconds.”

His mouth opens, and I get the sinking feeling that whatever he’s about to say will be the final nail in his coffin.

“I forgot.”

All the blood rushes to my ears, and a high-pitched ringing cuts through the blanket of silence that falls.

“I forgot, Lucina,” Callan says quietly, arms slack at his sides. “That’s the truth.”

The first tear falls, and I gently set the mug down on the table.

The second falls, and I turn back to face him. For a moment, I just stare. I wait until those two heavy tears hit my collarbone, then I say, “I don’t want to fight with you.”

Relief burns in his grey-eyed stare, and his mouth pops open to agree, but I hold up a steady finger.

“I wasn’t finished. I don’t want to fight with you, because I don’t even want to look at you.”

He stills, and instant remorse seeps through the calm mask of the Captain. Good. I hope it hurts.

“Four weeks ago, I stood in front of you, a stranger, and I laid all my truths bare. You remember that, don’t you? You wanted to know why I had no interest in going back, and I told you the truth—the ugly and tragic truth.”

Callan says nothing.

“But do you know that I’ve never said any of that out loud before? Ever? Even Ivy got it in tiny increments, and some things she never got at all.” Another tear falls, but I don’t acknowledge it. “Don’t for a second think that makes you special, because it had absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them!” I hold up the letter, the parchment shaking violently. “That’s how much they mean to me.”

His shoulders sink, and tears begin falling in twin rivers down my cheeks. “Lucina⁠—”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.” I slam the letter on the desk. “It won’t matter.”

I shoulder past him, and he hurries into the hall after me. “Lucina, wait! Things were different then⁠—”

I whirl around. “Different how?! You’re saying you had to stick your tongue down my throat to give a shit?” That stuns him to silence, and I laugh bitterly as I turn. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

He knew how desperate I was to get that message to Ivy and Jude. He knew what I was willing to risk, and now…he’s let them suffer. They’ve mourned me for weeks.

Because he ‘forgot.’