Page 108 of Anomalies

I lift my eyes, then narrow them slightly. “Hunter, my wanting to stay inside and read is not a cry for help; it’s simply just what I prefer to do today.”

“It’s what you’ve done every day.”

“That’s not true,” I volley back. “I always make time to bruise you up a bit in the training ring.” I go back to my reading, but he doesn’t leave. “Unless you know anything about Vaelith⁠—”

“I don’t,” he says bluntly. “But I do know that the Captain has read those books front to back, multiple times, so I’d say your odds of finding answers there are slim.”

“That’s a bit pessimistic.”

“It’s realistic,” Hunter replies, then his gaze softens. “Come on, Cin, let’s get you out of the house⁠—”

“You’ve been ordered to protect me, not coddle me, Hunter. So, unless these books suddenly pose a threat to my life, I’m perfectly fine in this room.”

I go back to reading, and he hovers in the doorway a second longer.

Then he leaves.

We spent the afternoon working on light manipulations, and I managed to summon fire, more than I ever have, though I only have experience with measly lanterns. I’m tempted to go to Selumira tonight, if only to be around a greater light source to draw from. I doubt anyone would notice if I stole a few flames from the bonfire to play with.

Our walk back is quiet, both of us avoiding the Banyan tree and all the Selumira decorations being strung from it. No one will hold back tonight—the point of Selumira is to pray and worship and replenish, if anything, tonight’s festivities will be amplified given the current state of unrest and worry.

If I thought drinking my body’s weight in moonshine would do anything to bring the three of them back, I’d drown myself in it.

I stay in the shower for far too long, letting my fingers prune and the water run cold, and when I finally pull back the curtain⁠—

“Fuck, Gemma!” I scream and she stares back at me innocently; glitter already smeared over her eyelids.

“You’re out of your damn mind if you think you’re not going tonight. There is not a single excuse you can give me that I’d accept.”

I grab my towel off the hook with a scowl. “How about I just don’t want to go?”

“No,” she says sternly. “As your friend, I’m not leaving here without you.” Gemma storms off into the bedroom–to find me something to wear, no doubt.

I pause over the doorway as she slams a ruby red dress into my chest, one I’d bought at the markets, then she tosses the gold embroidered boots by my feet. “Just one night, Cin. You can worry about him tomorrow.”

“How can you be so okay?” I blurt, and her lips press firmly together. “How is it that I’m not, and I’ve only known him a few months? I don’t get it, Gemma. I feel…” I look for the right word, searching through the many that linger on my tongue. “Empty.”

As embarrassing and vulnerable as that sounds, it’s true. Maybe the feeling is being amplified by Pax and Hunter and everyone else that’s waiting on bated breath for them to return. But I fear it runs deeper than that, and I’ve just been pretending that it doesn’t.

Gemma’s chin quivers for a moment, then her bright blue eyes go watery. “You’ve only known me for a few months.”

I shake my head. “That’s different.”

“It’s not.” She grabs my shoulders. “Sometimes you find people and you forget how you ever lived without them. It has nothing to do with time; it’s simply a feeling, one you shouldn’t feel guilty for. I knew you were special the minute Callan brought you into the Infirmary.” Her eyes are clear, darting quickly between my own. “I knew you’d be special to me, but I knew you’d be special to him, too. He was so worried about you that day.”

My eyes begin to burn as I remember it, how lost and fragile and broken I was. How scared I was, too. I was so locked in my thoughts that I hardly noticed anyone else around me, but I remember him being there. I remember not wanting to leave his side.

“He cares for you in a way that scares him, Lucina. And it scares you, too, doesn’t it?”

Her words hit me like a freight train. Is that what this is? Fear? My head nods only a fraction of an inch.

“Lucina, I’m worried sick, and you’re crazy if you think I’m okay, because I’m not. But I remember how he looked at you that morning, when he thought he’d ruined everything. Lucina, you are the only difference between this time and all the other missions he’s been on—he’s never had something like you to come back to, and he won’t let that go without a fight.”

I can’t speak. Even if I try, no sound will come out.

“Now you’re going to put on this dress, pull yourself together, and let me carry the things that are heavy. I’ll give them back to you tomorrow.”

She shuts the bathroom door without another word, and I remain frozen to the spot, clutching my clothes tightly to my chest—rocked to my very core.