Page 53 of You Met Me There

“Sorry, I can’t. Levi has a soccer game, and then Archie has a swim lesson.” She pauses, watching the boys buckle the belts on their car seat and booster. “But, maybe you want to go hiking with me next week? There’s a spot I love but haven’t been to in a while, and it has a great view.”

“Really?” I try not to let the surprise show, but inside I’m elated. “Uh, yeah. I’ll come.”

“Bring your camera.”

I fight a smile. If I’m too overbearing, she might change her mind.

Play it cool. Be nonchalant.

“Sounds good,” I say. “Just text me when and where.”

Chapter 27

Natalie

“Why do you keep checking your phone?” Luke walks out of the bathroom in jeans. He isn’t wearing a shirt, giving me the perfect view of his flat stomach and a sprinkling of blond hair on his chest.

He walks toward where I lie tucked in bed, scrolling through my messages. Rays of early-morning light filter through the side of the curtains. “You find something better on there than this?” He runs his hands down his chest and abs in a playful show. It makes me laugh. I pretend to cover my eyes but continue to watch through the cracks between my fingers.

He leans down, his hand pressing into the pillow beside my head. He hovers over me, and his expensive bergamot cologne fills my nostrils after he’s just shaved. Tendrils of his wet hair tickle my forehead, and his bare chest radiates warmth as he leans his body above mine.

He pulls my hands from my eyes. “Well? I’m waiting for an answer.”

“I forgot the question,” I say, a little breathlessly.

“Did you find something better to look at?” he whispers against my ear.

I shake my head. He takes the phone from my fingers—not glancing at the list of clients I was looking at—and places it on the nightstand.

“Good,” he growls, leaning down to kiss me. His lips are soft and he tastes like winter mint.

“Maybe we should just stay here,” he says against my lips. “We don’t have to ride horses, if you know what I mean.”

I feel his smile stretch mid-kiss.

Cupping his face in my hands, I push him back. “Luke, I love you. But—I don’t know—I feel weird about all … that right now.”

His eyebrows fall. “Why? We’re married.”

“I know, but … I want to have a baby, and you don’t.” He lifts himself off of me, and I sit up against the headboard. “If we sleep together, then I’m just hoping I’ll get pregnant. Having that thought lingering over my head makes it hard to just enjoy the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to—I do—but it’s been this way for a while now. I don’t feel like that’s being fair to you.” I look down, worried about what he’ll say and how my words will make him feel.

He reaches out, his finger brushing a stray lock of hair from my eye. His gentle touch is everything to me. I crave it like a drug. I’m an addict searching for my next fix, anticipating the way it will feel when I finally have it again—the rush.

But I keep pushing away every time he starts something physical. I know he’s missed me and I know what he wants, but I don’t think I can give it to him. It hurts me as much as it hurts him, the withdrawal from his intoxicating touch a greater struggle than I know how to handle.

“Nat, listen to me,” he says, his voice firm. When I don’t say anything, he says, “Please look at me.”

I look up. His bright blue eyes are fixed on mine.

“I’m only going to say this once, so pay close attention. I’m not going anywhere. I want you in every way possible. I want the you that’s lost so I can guide you home. I want the you that’s broken so I can patch you up. I want the you that’s unsure of the future, because I know that I’m the one to help you plan it out. No matter how much you push me away, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be patient with you. As long as you need. As long as it takes to figure this out. Okay?”

I look away.

“Okay, Natalie?” He tilts my chin up with the same finger, bringing my focus back to him. “I will keep fighting for you, like I said I would. I’m not giving up. But if you want to”—his brows furrow—“then I won’t stop you from leaving. But you have to choose what you want. If you want to work on us or if you don’t. If you love me like you say you still do, I have to know. Talk to me. Try with me. Because I’m a hundred percent with you, Natalie.”

I sigh. “You know what I want. I want to be a mother. Can you at least say you’ll think about giving me that? I don’t ever ask for anything. Only this.”

He’s silent for a moment, but he doesn’t move away. I’m still trapped under his gaze and wanting the feel of his body on mine.