Page 34 of Already Falling

Jake, 21

Long Beach, CA

Bio: You go Glen Coco

Favorite Song: Blank Space by Taylor Swift

A Mean Girls quote? I mean, Jake might be my true love, right? I wonder when I’m going to get a match. I keep swiping left and right to a few guys and almost jump out of my seat when I get a notification. “It’s a match!” I stare at the chat screen between me and Griffin. Nothing. Do I message first? What is the move? I’ll just keep swiping, and maybe he’ll message first. I get a little lost in the endless photos to swipe that I nearly drop my phone when I come across a familiar face.

Reid, 20

San Diego, CA

Bio: I’m probably already in love with you.

Favorite Song: All I Wanted by Paramore

I stare at his bio for what feels like hours. His photos bring a smile to my face. His eyes are glowing in the second picture, where he’s cradling a pug in his arms. He’s grown a little bit of beard stubble in these photos which is really hot. I listen to his favorite song, and my heart breaks in two. I almost catch myself taking a screenshot but then panic that it might tell him that I did, so I don’t. I should swipe left. I ended things. I should be confident with my decision. But I want to know what he will do. Did he swipe right on me? I can only know if I swipe right on him.

Swiping right…

It’s a match! Chat with Reid

My heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my mouth. I’m fully leaning over this bench with my head nearly between my knees. I stare at the chat screen. He might not say anything. I guess that is the best case. I know my answer. He does still like me. That’s why he swiped right. Right? Or maybe he swiped right for the same reason I swiped right. To see what I’d do. Three dots start appearing on the screen, and I audibly shriek, startling an older couple walking by. They glare at me, and I wave in apology.

The three dots are still pulsing on the screen, and I might just collapse and die right here. Maybe he’s going to profess his love to me? This could be my second chance with him. Maybe I should just force quit and delete the app before he has the chance to message me.

Reid

Are you joking?

Is he saying that in a cute serendipitous way, or like he is upset with me?

Reid

What are you doing?

Why did you swipe right?

Shit, well, that answers my question. I think my second chance is gone forever. Maybe I can recover.

Annika

I wanted to see if you would swipe right.

Which you did.

Honesty is best, right? Well, I guess that’s not the full truth. The full truth would be something like, “I fell in love with you when I was nine years old, and I’ve compared every guy to you since, and I can’t get you out of my head, and I think I still have feelings for you, but I’m scared to do anything about it.”

Reid

Of course I did. I still like you.

You ended things with ME. You said you didn’t feel the same way.

Are you saying you were lying to me?

Annika