Page 60 of Ride or Die

Clara blinks, cocking her head to the side. “Okay… what’s up?”

I flick my tongue over my suddenly dry bottom lip, searching for the words but when they don’t come to me, I wind up just staring at her, like a goddamn fool. Clearing my throat, I remove my hat and rake my fingers through my hair, stalling. But the longer the silence stretches between us, the more panic starts to curl in my guts.

“Cole?” Clara quirks a brow. “Please tell me, because I’m really starting to panic.” Her tits heave with a few quick breaths.Eyes up, dammit. “Do you… Do want us out of the house?”

I gape at her. “What? No.” My fuckin’ chest hurts knowing that she was even thinking that.

She seems relieved, her shoulders sagging a touch.

If I had a plan, I can sure as shit say this ain’t going according to it at all. Puffing air from my cheeks, I rub at the back of my neck. “Bailey’s… not my girlfriend.”

I see a thick swallow work its way down Clara’s throat but she says nothing, gives nothing away.

“Bailey’s one of my oldest friends. We used to live next door to each other when we were kids,” I continue for some reason. “Her fiancé was… um, killed a few months ago. In the war…”

Clara’s eyes go wide.

I nod solemnly. “He was a marine. Well, he worked with me at Rattlesnake but then he enlisted and…” I trail off.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, placing a hand against her chest. “I—I’m sorry.”

I shrug. “I’ve been tryin’ to spend as much time with her as I can. It really messed her up for a while. Hell, some days are still pretty bad for her.”

Clara frowns. “I can only imagine. Poor Bailey.”

I nod again. “Yeah. We have dinner every Wednesday night together. At Pip’s.”

Clara nods this time, understanding dawning on her.

“That’s why we were there,” I confirm. “It wasn’t, like, a… date, or whatever.”

“Okay.” Clara offers a small smile that’s tinged with awkwardness, like she’s wondering why I’m telling her this. And, I mean, that’s a real good question because I ain’t got the faintest fuckin’ idea.

“And Saturday night,” I continue, “when I had to leave?”

Her eyes slide to mine.

“There was a… p-problem at the ranch.” I keep rubbing at the pinch of guilt that pricks the back of my neck, swallowing hard. “I ended up havin’ to drive down to… south.” I shrug, not wanting to tell her any more simply because I don’t want her in any way implicated in Austin’s bullshit. “I didn’t get back here ’til yesterday.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Her blue eyes rove over me from head to toe, a contemplative look in them when they meet mine. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Cole.”

I shrug again, shoving my hands into my pockets and, with another thick swallow, I say, “I wanna be honest with you. All I wanted was to come back here and… and be with you on Saturday night. Because I… I think I—” I snap my mouth shut before another half-lie slips out. Clearing my sandpaper throat, I lift my chin a little higher, meeting her eyes. “Because I like you, Clara.”

CHAPTER 22

CLARA

Iblink hard, trying to make sense of Cole’s words. “You…likeme?”

He nods tightly, lips pressed tightly together like he’s never been in a more uncomfortable situation. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he rubs at that spot on the back of his neck which, since knowing him, I’ve come to the conclusion is his nervous tell.

“I know I have no… fuckin’ right to like you this way. I mean, with everythin’ you’ve been through, this is the last thing you need or probably even want, but… fuck, I—” He huffs a hard exhale, looking up toward the roof.

All I can do is watch him, wait for him to siphon through whatever jumbled mess of thoughts are clouding his mind and preventing his ability to voice them, so that he can tell me straight. Because I need him to tell me. I need it in black and white.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m tryin’ to take advantage of you or, fuck, I don’t know, that this was my plan since the moment I saw you. I’m not some predator preyin’ on single mamas, but I… oh my god, why is this so fuckin’ hard?” He scoffs, dragging a hand down his face.

I’m forced to bite my lips together because sure, this is confusing as hell and so totally unexpected, especially after the last few days, but I’d be lying if I said a bumbling six-foot-something, tattooed cowboy wasn’t one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.