Page 51 of Property of Gray

“I kind of have to be, don’t I?”

“You don’t have to hide shit from me just because I’m your big brother and a hardass.”

“It is what it is.”

“I know you love him.”

“And he loves Kaylene.”

“No, he doesn’t. I know love when I see it, Low. That ain’t it. He’s doing what he thinks he has to for the club and his kid. Gray may not be ready to admit it or face it, but he loves you. I see the way you are together. I tried to have it with Faye, but we were never going to be happy. Gray won’t ever be happy with Kaylene because she’s not you. You don’t fly off the handle like that for someone you don’t love.”

I nod, but it doesn’t matter. “Yeah, but he’s still with her, and I have to let him go. He’s made his choice.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “You need me. You call me. I don’t care the day or hour.”

“I know.” I exit his truck and he pulls out. I sit on the porch a while, just staring at the moon, wondering if Gray is happy now and if I ever will be.

I thought I was.

I thought he was my happy.

My forever.

I hope we get more than one soulmate because he was mine.

“I seriously don’t know how you eat that.” I scrunch up my nose as Foolish sprinkles Parmesan cheese over his Hawaiian pizza. “That’s literally the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“No, thank you. I’ll stick to my good old normal pepperoni.”

“That’s boring.” He takes a big pineapple-filled bite, and I mock-gag.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave the house with a big knot on my head, but my bangs cover it fairly easy. Grannie Mags was in bed when I got in, and she didn’t even notice it today when I saw her.

Elsie Jo was supposed to meet us, but she got called in for an extra shift. I thought about inviting Madz, but I could use a break from the club. Foolish’s company excluded. I hope we don’t see Kayleen or Gray, but it’s a small town. It will happen eventually, and I can’t avoid the clubhouse forever.

There’s also work. He was always popping into the office for something. Maybe he will send someone else like Cash or Shaggy in his place from now on.

I’m not prepared to see him. Everything is too fresh. Too raw. It almost seems like a fever dream that didn’t even really happen to me. I’ve spent most of my life dreaming of him. Chasing him. Wanting him. That I never even gave much thought into wanting anything else.

Maybe it’s time I start.

“Come on. Take one bite.” Foolish holds up a slice in my face.

“Only if you want me to throw up.”

“Fine.”

“I honestly couldn’t eat another bite if I tried.”

“That’s too bad. I was going to ask if you wanted to get ice cream after this.”

“I mean, I might have room for a scoop or two.”

The next few months pass quickly.

I’ve not had any run-ins with Gray or Kaylene.