Page 101 of Tell Me I'm Enough

Erik rolls his eyes. “Basically, I’m a civilian to them. Nobody in the club talks to me unless they need a favor; I’m not allowed around there, and I can’t reach out unless it’s some kind of emergency. Haven’t heard from my dad once since I left, and I barely talked to my mom when Iwasaround, so it wasn’t that different once I left with her. I still kinda secretly keep in contact with my cousin who I was close with, but…that’s about it.”

“Did you and your dad have a close relationship…before you left?” Bash asks him gently.

Erik’s face drops just slightly. “Um…our relationship was…complicated, to say the least.”

I suck my teeth. “Well, welcome to the fucked up fathers club.”

They both just stare at me, and I can see Bash trying to hold in a laugh.

I put my hands up. “Sorry—language. I really need a swear jar.”

Erik just shrugs, and I hate the way his tone has gone to shit now, like I can hear the sadness in it, but he plays it off.

“Cussing ain’t the end of the world,” he says, looking off into the distance, “don’t let us or anyone else make you feeluncomfortable about it. I’ve worked a lot over the years on my anger, and cussing less just helps me not stay in that angry mindset, personally. But I don’t really think everyone has the same conviction around it.”

“Unless you try to cuss me out,” Bash jokes. “Then we might throw hands.”

“I could take you,” I tell him, smiling.

We both wait for Erik to chime back in, but he doesn’t, and it’s just silent for a while as he’s stuck in his own thoughts.

“Okay…enough of all that,” Bash announces, clearly reading Erik’s mood shift. “Boy’s day before everyone splits for break?”

Erik nods, shifting his attention back to us.

“I’m down,” I tell him. “Just let me…”

“Let him go check on hisfriend—I mean, friends,” Erik says, perking back up and winking at me like he knows something no one else does.

By the time I get back to the Sig house, the hangover is slightly more manageable. But you know what they always say…the best way to cure a hangover is to…drink more.

Something like that.

I pull a bottle of some kind of whiskey from the cabinet and pour two shot glasses.

Leaning back on the counter with one hand, I down them back to back.

Tanner walks into the kitchen and stops when he sees me.

He looks down at the watch on his wrist and then back to me, chuckling. “Damn, Sinclair.”

I shrug. “I’m celebrating.”

“Celebratingwhatexactly?”

I wave him off, already pouring another shot. “Christmas break…the sun coming up…hell, I don’t know, whatever there is to celebrate.”

“Hmm. Okay, whatever you say. Just leave us some liquor for us to come back to, yeah?”

I down the shot and give him a sarcastic thumbs up as he walks off.

I throw the shot glasses in the sink and run upstairs to my room to grab my keys before walking over to the Gamma house, looking for Simone.

When I don’t find her there, I take the long, dreadful walk over to her dorm.

I’m standing at her door, feeling kinda pathetic all of a sudden.

Is it weird that I’m here?