Page 100 of Tell Me I'm Enough

I choke down some Advil, splash water on my face in the bathroom, and meet them downstairs.

We walk off campus in the freezing cold and hit the cafe everyone swears serves a breakfast that cures any hangover.

The smell of bacon and coffee almost makes me throw up, but I try to keep it down. I slide into the booth across from them and drop my head onto my forearms.

“You look like death,” Erik says casually.

“I feelworsethan death,” I mumble into the table.

Bash orders for me like I’m five—a greasy breakfast platter, extra hash browns, and the biggest coffee they have.

I don’t even argue with him when he pushes the plate in my direction.

“So,” Bash says once the waitress leaves again, “you wanna tell us what’sactuallygoing on, or are you just planning on drinking your way through the new year without stopping? Cause I’ve barely seen you outside of class or on that football field.”

“Why would anything be going on?” I ask. “A guy can’t just party a little too hard by accident?”

“The kind of partying you’ve been doing doesn’t look like it’s by accident. It looks pretty similar to the wayIused to party.”

I roll my eyes. “This isn’t some cry for help, Bash. It’s just the holidays…and I’m feeling…festive.”

He and Erik both give me a ‘bullshit’ look, but don’t push it anymore. I look down at my phone and still don’t see any messages from Simone…which I hate. I hate not knowing if I ruined her night. She leaves for Christmas break tomorrow, and I don’t want to spend the next month or so unable to make things right if I screwed up in any way.

“I’m gonna go…check on everyone back at the house before they head out for break when we’re done here.”

Erik smirks. “Tell the Gamma girls I said hey,” he teases.

Bash isn’t even paying attention, lost in his own thoughts.

“When are y’all heading out?” I ask.

“I’m driving down Friday,” Bash says.

“I’ll…be here,” Erik says, looking down at his plate.

It’s awkwardly silent for a moment before I make it even more awkward.

“So…how does the whole exiled from the family thing work anyway?” I ask him. “Like…you can’t see or talk to any of your family? Even extended?”

Bash kicks me under the table, and I wince, bending down to rub my shin.

“Geez, I’m just curious.”

Erik shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I get the curiosity.”

“See,” I say mockingly to Bash. “I mean, look at him. He’s the biggest contradiction of a person if I’ve ever seen. Rough around the edges, yet clean-cut and all holy. It’s very fascinating.”

They both laugh.

“Well,” Erik starts, “my dad is the Sergeant-at-Arms of the…club, which just means he handles the ‘enforcement.’”

I nod. “Sounds…bad ass.”

“You can say that. Anyway…that kinda made him have to be…stricter when it came to my…departure.”

I can see Bash listening intently, taking in the information that’s oh so rarely ever given to us by Erik about his family.

I rest my head on top of my hands. “Keep going.”