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‘I’m house-trained too,’ she said witheringly. ‘Isn’t that an advantage?’
His smile gave way to laughter then.
‘Well, really, Alex, what did you think—that I’d sit there sullen and stupid all night?’
‘No, but nor did I expect you to have half the room hanging on your every word and have them falling over each other to talk to you.’
‘That wasn’t me,’ she said acidly. ‘That was my status. Walking in with Alex Carlisle, I couldn’t be anything but a success.’
‘Why do you insist on hiding behind a wall of sarcasm from even the vaguest compliment?’ He accelerated. ‘Dani, it was you. I’ve seen far more famous women, far more supposedly important women, fail to have anything like that effect on a group like that. You charmed them.’
‘I didn’t. I just talked to them.’ Dani fidgeted with the side seam of her jeans. ‘Why were you in such a rush to leave, anyway?’
‘I want you.’
OK, that was to the point and something of a relief given the lust she was grappling with. Even so, she couldn’t resist a tease. ‘But I have a headache, remember?’
Alex dragged himself away from her warm, sleepy body, showered and dressed. Made himself a nuclear-strength coffee and forced the bitterness down his throat. He needed the caffeine hit. He powered up the computer on the desk overlooking the garden, then checked his phone. There were five messages waiting. He scrolled and then stilled. One was from Patrick, which he ignored. One was from the investigator.
Alex didn’t care how early it was, he was paying the man enough to be able to call him any time—even two hours before dawn. The guy was impressively lucid considering he’d just been woken—but there wasn’t much to report. Nothing on Dani’s brother. Not good enough.
‘Where else can you look? There must be something, right?’
He was increasingly determined to find him for her. The investigator explained the problem—when searching the birth records, Dani’s mother’s name wasn’t coming up anywhere, which meant that at the time of her son’s adoption the original birth certificate was sealed. So, without a court order, the only person who can access the full details on the certificate is that child himself—no one else, not even his sister. The investigator needed to find him through other means. He asked if Alex knew any more details.
‘No. I don’t have more details—no date, no photo, no nothing. There can’t have been that many babies adopted out that year. Check the ones before and after. Just find him.’ He jabbed the end button and tossed it in the bench. Damn.
A faint sound alerted him. Whirling round, he saw her—in the doorway, her wide eyes searching his, so full of fearful hope. Alex winced. He wasn’t big on bursting bubbles for people. And so he did it quick—less painful that way, right?
‘There’s nothing yet, sorry, Dani. It’s not looking good.’
For a moment she did nothing, the shock etched on her face. She believed he could help, didn’t she? Frustration burned hotter inside him. He wanted to be able to. He wanted to smooth away that pinched look—to sweep the pain from her eyes. He moved. But she did too—turning her back to him.
‘I’m going to make breakfast.’ She opened the fridge. ‘Pizza. Sounds weird, I know, but it’s the only thing I can cook. You’ve got ready-made bases in here. I saw them the other day. Spinach and egg. Some people think it’s gross but I love it.’
Alex said nothing, just stood on the other side of the bench and watched her sudden burst of busyness. She put the bases, spinach, eggs and cheese down. Found his biggest knife.
‘Do you have pasta sauce? I need some pasta sauce.’
Hell, she looked tired. And suddenly he too felt exhausted. Maybe they should both just go back to bed—to sleep.
By now she had the board. The green leaves were under the guillotine.
‘Dani.’ He risked life and limb and put his hand on hers. ‘We’ll do everything to find him for you, I promise. Everything.’ He applied more pressure to his grip. ‘You can trust me, OK?’
‘Sure.’ The knife hit the board.
Bang, bang, bang.
No more talking. She wouldn’t look at him. She wasn’t going to let him in on it—her disappointment, her fear, her hurt. And that made him almost as disappointed himself.
His phone beeped again and he wanted to chuck it in the waste-disposal unit. He wanted to help her. Wanted her to have the success that he hadn’t—to find the happiness she wanted. Instead he was rendered useless.
When he looked up from tapping out a message she’d abandoned the spinach. ‘I don’t feel like pizza anymore.’ She put the knife down. ‘What a mess.’
‘The housekeeper will take care of it.’
But she wasn’t talking about that mess and he knew it.
Her shoulders slumped. ‘I’m sorry the search is taking up your time, Alex. I know you have more important things to be doing.’
Was that defeat he’d just heard from her? He saw the way her fingers trembled as she tucked her hair behind her ear. Well, that wasn’t right. He wanted the strong, sassy Dani back.
‘You mean, you think I actually do important things?’ He tried to tease her out. ‘I thought I was only about swanning around and seducing the nearest available woman.’
‘OK, I admit that when you’ve done your seducing for the day you might put some effort into your work, as well.’
Clearly she was not herself.
‘Why, thank you.’ He walked to her side of the bench, determined to bring the sparkle back to her eyes. ‘But you’re mistaken about something.’
‘I am?’ She finally looked at him. ‘What?’
‘I’m never done with seducing for the day.’ He smiled down at her. Then his smile stuttered as he saw how the pain came from right inside her, her big brown eyes dulled with sorrow and uncertainty.
He wound his arms around her and pulled her close for a plain old-fashioned hug, tempering the desire that surged every time he got within three feet of her, pressing her head into his shoulder so he didn’t have to see that hurt anymore, because somehow it hurt him. And he wanted to pretend he really was helping somehow.
‘It’s going to be OK, Dani.’ It was all he could think of to say. And it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t guarantee her anything, but in this moment it didn’t stop him trying.
Dani figured she must be the worst temp ever. She hadn’t been paying any attention to what Cara had been saying. All she could think about was the news Alex had relayed. The disappointment was overwhelming. Nothing. No leads—no possibilities. She might never find Eli. She might never get to tell him how sorry their mother was—how she’d thought of him every day—how she’d wanted to love him. Dani might never find her family. The thoughts cut her heart. She had to focus on something else—like answering letters or inputting numbers. But futility drummed a relentless beat—she wasn’t going to do it; she wasn’t going to be able to do it for her mother.
And the follow-on questions grew louder and louder in her head—if she wasn’t going to find her brother, why was she still here? How much longer did she give Alex’s PI to find him? How much longer would she let herself be with Alex?
For the first question the answer was easy—they had to have more time. She hadn’t packed up and moved countries to give up after only a few weeks. She wouldn’t let them stop. Somewhere someone must be able to help—surely they’d find him eventually.
As for Alex, he was just part of the deal, wasn’t he? The physical favour. Hardly—she mocked herself. No way was it ‘just sex’ and uncomplicated—it already was complicated for her. Half her heart was his. And he hadn’t asked for it. How she wished he would.
‘Did the meeting run late last night?’
She finally heard Cara. ‘Oh. Not too bad, no.’
‘Oh.’ Cara smiled. ‘You seem a little tired today. Distracted.’
Dani felt her cheeks warm. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK,’ Cara said. ‘There’s
not much to do today anyway.’
Dani’s mobile rang.
‘I’ll send a taxi to pick you up this afternoon.’ Alex got straight to the point. ‘I have a thing I have to go to. I forgot to mention it this morning.’
‘Sure. No problem.’ So he didn’t need his ‘date’ for this one. Dani battled against feeling disappointed but lost. Nor could she control the feeling of concern from rising—he’d sounded tired, which was unusual. She wished she could see him—to read his expression—because something had definitely been off.
Silly. She reminded herself with hard words—she wasn’t his mother, or his girl, not even a friend. She was his flatmate with fringe benefits. That was all.
