Page 49 of Axton
“I’m so sorry, baby.” She held my shaking body, not minding that my angel’s blood was touching her.
“You did this to her!” Linda Sue screamed.
It was the last day of school, the spring flowers were still blooming, and there I was, a seventeen-year-old boy holding his best friend’s dead body, as she held her dead baby. A baby I didn’t know she was expecting. One that had a cold hand over its nose and mouth when I found them.
“Son, is this your baby?” The deputy asked. I looked up at him and didn’t know the answer. I was so confused.
“You don’t have to say anything, Mike. Just give yourself a little more time.” Mom cried.
“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Natalie’s brother charged toward me, he was huge, but my mother stood and took the blow for me. She fell with a thud and the most insane kind of rage grew inside me. The stars aligned and came full circle, a memory hit me. The day I stepped in front of my old man and took that blow for my mother. It happened on the day I was supposed to die, but lived on life support for weeks.
That would have been the first time mom checked herself into rehab, and it was the day she finally called her parents for help and meant it.
The same question was asked of me, over and over again, until I finally answered it.
“Was that your baby, son?”
With tears in my eyes, I finally answered. “Yes, sir. She was my daughter.”
Present day…
“I only feel safe when you’re near me.”
Belle’s words swam around in my mind as I looked down at that old letter. I shut my eyes and imagined she was scared and in the dark.
“I only feel safe when you’re near me.”
“Fuck!”
I stood and paced again, but stopped and looked at the halo of lights from the community center that must have reached space. I remembered that Christmas morning when I looked at Natalie and the lights from the tree danced in her eyes. I’d never forget how damn good that Christmas morning felt.
My mind was in a battle. Did I ignore my need to protect Belle, or was I to go to her and risk everything, including my sanity? I never wanted a woman to need me ever again. Being needed by a woman as they looked at me the way Natalie and now Belle did, was one of my biggest nightmares. Of course, other people, including women and children, needed my help and I was fine to do it, but it was different with them. I didn’t need them for anything. I hated the idea of what was really bothering me. Natalie didn’t understand that I needed her too. I needed to feel adored, respected, safe, and worth something. How the fuck did Belle make an impact on me before she even opened her eyes? I never wanted to need someone the way I did Natalie ever again.
“Fuck it.” I stormed toward the garage and grabbed my keys.
Chapter Twenty
Axton
Ipaced in front of her apartment door and changed my mind probably five times since I left the house. What the hell was I doing? I didn’t know her, and I didn’t owe her anything. We watched a few movies together and had a few laughs. So what? That didn’t mean I was solely responsible for her safety and comfort, did it? Fuck! I was so torn up about it, but why? What did I care that I could almost feel her fear? So much so that I’d knock that fucking door down if I didn’t stop feeling it.
She was like a brand-new person with almost no life experience. She was only twenty-three, eight years younger than me. That was too young, but maybe it was more of a big brother thing with her. Then I thought about that body and nope, definitely not a big brother thing. Then I paused and realized there were cameras. Shit! I turned and flipped off the camera. Fuck you, Creed. What the hell was I going to say when that nosy fucker saw that video?
“Yeah, so remember when I said I didn’t like the innocent types? Well, I think I may have just been running from what scared me, and I’m interested in Belle.”Yeah right, he would laugh his ass off at me and never let me forget it. That asshole needed to mind his own business. All that bullshit about me being too serious, and not nice enough to Morgan and Wrenly, might have been to protect myself. Maybe that’sbecause I knew what it felt like to lose every fucking thing that ever meant anything to me, and I never wanted to live in poverty again. If Creed’s Lake failed, I’d lose everything I was holding on to for comfort and to have something that felt secure. Maybe I finally needed to feel safe for once. I lived my whole damn life for other people, and I did something for myself when I took a gamble with Creed almost eight years ago. It was all I had and proof that I triumphed over that fucking mountainside. Now, two women that reminded me of Natalie were threatening it. Morgan with her spending and non-profits, taking focus off our most vulnerable women, which were ones kidnapped from their own countries. Children taken into slavery took priority over domestic cases, because we couldn’t feed or take care of the people we needed to be helping if we were throwing money out the window. Wrenly was okay as a fellow operative, but she chose domestic cases over the cases that helped create Creed’s Lake. Now they had me falling into their ways by giving me a domestic case that made me want to care for someone. Belle was unlike anyone I ever knew.
Screw it, I knew if I turned to leave, I would just end up right back there in front of her door. I knocked but there was no answer. “Are you kidding me, Koty?” So much for him being on alert.
“Dammit.” I put my palm on the scanner and heard the door unlock. Maybe I was just being crazy, they were safe now, and Belle was probably fine. The apartment was dark, other than the lights from the Christmas Wonderland Morgan created, and they were both probably sleeping. I headed down the hall and one bedroom door was open, so I peeked inside and saw a small frame in a bed. Too small to be Belle. Damn those Christmas lights were bright.
I stepped in front of the next door, but almost tore it down when I heard small cries. My heart raced and I couldn’t get that door open fast enough. The door flew open, and I was surprised not to hear a scream before I turned on the light. “Michael.” I heard her soft voice, but she wasn’t in her bed, instead she was on the floor in the corner. “I knew it was you.”
“Belle, I’m so sorry.” I raced over to her, and she reached up for me. She was shaking, but quickly melted into my arms.
“I didn’t think you were coming.” She hiccupped from crying so hard. “I was so scared.”
I pressed my lips into her hair and kissed her head. “I’m here now.” Her body began to relax, and her shivers calmed some.
“Are you cold?” I held her body and noticed whatever she was wearing was satin and soft, close to as soft as I imagined her skin would feel.
