Page 39 of High Stakes
“Go, Lorenzo. I’ll be fine.” I make my way to the bathroom, hearing the kitchen door open behind me as I enter.
When I finish and head back toward the parlor, though, I pause when I hear sobbing coming from the kitchen. Anxiety knots in my stomach as I push the door open, finding Gina holding a bottle of vodka and a poured glass. Her tear-streaked face looks up, startled by my entrance.
“Please don’t drink it,” I plead softly. She looks at the glass in her hand, and I move toward her, taking the glass from her trembling hands. The pain in her eyes is almost unbearable as she breaks down, confessing she believes Leone will never forgive her.
Gina’s eyes glisten with tears as she admits to being a bad mother, her voice raw and vulnerable. “My alcoholism ruined our relationship,” she explains, looking away in shame. “When I fell pregnant with Leone, he looked so much like Vittorio I couldn’t be the mother he deserved.”
I furrow my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”
She lets out a bitter laugh. “I love my husband now, but for a while, I didn’t. Especially when I got pregnant with Leone on our wedding night. I was supposed to be the blushing virgin bride, but Vittorio didn’t like the word ‘no.’ Nine months later, Leone was born.” She sighs, her shoulders slumping. “I was a bad mother. I should have protected him more.”
Her words strike a chord within me, and I feel a surge of sympathy for this broken woman before me. Gina asks about Leone and my marriage, and I hesitate, unsure if I should revealthe truth. She reads my hesitation, telling me not to lie, as she can recognize an arranged marriage when she sees one.
Shaking my head, I reply, “It wasn’t arranged.”
“Then he just forced you to marry him?” Gina pushes, her gaze never leaving mine.
I let out a weary sigh. “It wasn’t forced, either. We made a deal. My father owed him money, and my sister needed medical treatment.”
Gina nods slowly, processing the information. “Do you regret it now?”
I think for a second before answering, surprised by my own response. “No.”
With a curious tilt of her head, Gina asks if I love Leone. Swallowing hard, I admit the truth: “He’s growing on me.”
Gina’s laughter fills the kitchen, a warm and genuine sound contrasting with the tense atmosphere surrounding us. “It’s funny how that works,” she muses. “It was the same with me and Vittorio. After a decade or so, he grew on me.”
“Great,” I chuckle, my own laughter mingling with hers. “Only got ten more years to go, and I may be able to tolerate your son.” We both snicker.
Gina’s expression turns serious as she looks at me intently. “Does Leone treat you right?”
I nod, but Gina doesn’t seem convinced by my answer. Feeling the need to explain, I say, “He was, but he doesn’t trust me anymore.”
“Why?” she asks, her curiosity piqued.
“Because I ran off with my friend,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper. “Leone thinks we were more than that.”
“Most people run or try to escape from this lifestyle,” Gina says with understanding. “I tried to, he’ll forgive you eventually,” she says before adding. “The friend, was he a man? Is he still in the picture?”
I shake my head. “No, he was just a friend.”
“Where is your friend now?” Gina questions, her eyes searching mine for answers. I stare back at her, silent.
“Right, dumb question.” Gina sighs heavily, her gaze shifting down to the glass in front of her. The trembling of her hands conveys her desire to drink it. I can’t help but feel a strange mix of pity and empathy for her.
“My mother was a drug addict,” I blurt out, surprising even myself. “I guess she still is. I haven’t seen her since I was ten.”
Gina’s eyes remain fixed on the glass, her hands still shaking. “Please don’t,” I plead softly. “It would be nice for my child to have at least one grandmother.”
Her gaze lifts to meet mine, and I see a flicker of hope in her eyes. “Are you and Leone trying for a baby?”
“He is trying, I am avoiding,” I confess, swallowing hard. “But yes.”
“You don’t want to be a mother?” Gina asks gently.
“I don’t want to become my mother,” I answer honestly. I hesitate then quickly add, “But either way, I will end up one. Leone is pretty pushy.”
Gina looks at me with an understanding that goes beyond words, as if she can see into the depths of my soul and the future since it seems in some ways we appear to have the same one.
